Lopez Blogs

Three things that I am anxious to happen:

• I need to wooed by Lady Gaga's Judas. Perhaps I will fall in love with it as quickly as I tired of Bored This Way. At the moment it just sounds like a slightly thrashy, somewhat messy Bad Romance. Please enlighten me.
• I really don't think I can wait a week for nu-Who. I'm whizzing through the last series as a catch up. Only the 2 part finale & xmas spesh to go. "I wear stetsons now. Stetsons are cool". Amaze.
• Other than being desperate to see Book of Mormon Broadway and How To Succeed In Business, I really want a stage version of Connie and Carla. If no one is going to do it I shall just have to mortgage everything I own to make it happen. I'll cast Elouise for sure, and Daniel Boys can have the David Duchovny role...

Right, enough waffling, on with the new entries this week...

NEW ENTRIES:

Apart from Judas (briefly discussed above), I had a week where I was listening a lot to somewhat overlooked album tracks. Here's the four that were played enough to enter the charts and that really should be singles...

• Westlife ~ I Will Reach You: What on earth happened with the Gravity singles campaign?? I think it's "safe" (ho ho) to say that the first single perhaps wasn't the best choice to kick it all off. Beautiful Tonight would have made a great, upbeat launch single, and this delightful track would have continued in much the same vein. It's churlish of people to expect Westlife to change their formula too much at this point in their career, but massive singalong choruses, up tempo verses and a general feel good atmosphere are more than likely to get people tapping their feet. A definite missed opportunity...
• Joe McElderry ~ Feel The Fire: Poor geordie Joe. Rumour has it his record deal is not long for this world and as I've come to love the little tyke, that's a real shame. Someone who has the audacity to turn the melancholy Ambitions into a glittering dance track/routine AND make it work is ok by me. Feel The Fire really should have been the next single. It's got a delicious alphabeat vibe to it, a convivial summer groove going on and Joe giving a perky vocal that shows why he deserved to win. Give it a whirl and become ever so smitten...

• Brandon Flowers ~ Was It Something I Said?: Set the Tardis for 1982 because this 80s throwback is an absolute gem of a track. Not only does it seemingly nick the riff from Living Next Door To Alice, but it has saucy synths, cheeky handclaps and wicked clever lyrics that all build up to a smashing chorus that once embedded, you can't get out of your head for days. Brandon has a real gift as a musical storyteller and this could have been a really fun single. Watch the live clip above to get an idea of the energy of the song. Aces!
• Scissor Sisters ~ Sex & Violence: Ah the Scissters. They really should be on single number four by now (Fire With Fire, Any Which Way, Whole New Way) with this track that comes across like a dark and dirty American Pyscho: The Broadway Musical (which leaves me slightly breathless in anticipation for their Tales Of The City contributions). At times it sounds like it could be a deviously macabre duet with Kylie, but even on their own it's a top drawer slice of electro-pop thats own subdued nature causes it to soar far above it's album track ambitions.

TOP 21 SONGS OF THE WEEK:

21 ~ Lady Gaga, Judas (NE)
20 ~ Lady Gaga, Born This Way
19 ~ Scissor Sisters, Sex and Violence (NE)
18 ~ Brandon Flowers, Was It Something I Said (NE)
17 ~ Joe McElderry, Feel The Fire (NE)
16 ~ Westlife, I Will Reach You (NE)
15 ~ Sanna Nielsen, I'm In Love
14 ~ Love Generation, I Dance Alone
13 ~ Tove Styrke, High & Low
12 ~ The Moniker, Oh My God
11 ~ Rochella Danishei, Never Been Kissed
10 ~ The Wanted, Gold Forever
09 ~ Take That, Happy Now
08 ~ Maroon 5, Is Anybody Out There?
07 ~ Same Difference, Best Mistake
06 ~ Andrea Lewis, She
05 ~ Eric Saade, Popular
04 ~ Kylie, Put Your Hands Up
03 ~ The Feeling, Set My World On Fire
02 ~ Elouise, Born This Way
01 ~ Sara Ramirez, The Story (2 weeks)

Next week: Vanbot review, Becoming Nancy review...

Sigh. More often than not, I think fans look at their favourite acts album campaigns (ie, what singles are chosen or when the album is abandoned far too early) and just weep in despair at some of the bizarre choices that are made. Usually everyone has an opinion over whether Madonna and Kylie chose the right singles from their albums and how they would have done it better. Here are some of my favourite acts and some suggestions on how to correct the wonky course of an increasingly misguided album campaign...

• Maroon 5 ~ I'm not sure Adam and the boys are a good place to start. It's not that the album campaign has been bad per se, it's just I'm not sure that there is the same level of interest in them anymore. Nice poppy choice of first single in Misery, slightly more aggressive funk in Give A Little More. Never Gonna Leave This Bed is just the type of swoony single that will remind people of She Will Be Loved and Won't Go Home Without You. I would have released it around Christmas instead of the non-single campaign for the album track but better late than never. Follow it up please with a fairly innovative video for fan fave Stutter and then round it all off with that nice Lady Antebellum duet. Oh and Adam, just continue to look sizzling hot. That's the stuff :)
• Brandon Flowers ~ was there an album campaign for this? It seemed to fizzle out after the lovely and enduring Crossfire embedded itself into everyone's hearts. Only The Young limped along and Jilted Lovers & Broken Hearts would have been a brilliant anti-Valentine's Day anthem, but it seems it was not to be. On the plus side, The Killers Christmas song (Boots) was quite nice and the band seem to be reforming for some concert action later this year. But don't abandon B-Flo's trashy vegas loving album yet, there are some right gems in there...
• Scissor Sisters ~ It started off so well. Critically lauded. Slightly cooler than Ta-Dah (which I loved) taster single in Invisible Light, then different sounding anthem in Fire with Fire. Any Which Way reminded the world of how filthy-gorgeous they could be. Then - a video for the already well known Invisible Light? It seemed like a bit of a let down. Where was a single remix of Whole New Way? Or a down and dirty reworking of Sex & Violence? Then finish it all off with some Invisible Light remixes? There's still time to salvage the wonderful Night Work, they just need to get on with it.
• Shayne Ward ~ oh dear. Poor Shayne. While no one currently looks better in jeans and a white t-shirt, his music career has seen better days. Even after the x-factor performance of his big comeback single (a Nickelback cover), he didn't quite make the top ten. And instead of rallying for Obsession (title track and should've been first single) to be released as the second track with a slightly naughty video (Shayne in s&m, putting Rihanna to shame comes to mind), he's tweeting about Malteasers. Good god man, have you completely given up?! Closer Than Close has been chosen as the US single and would serve well over here, even if it does veer a little too close towards JLS territory. And why isn't the Darin penned Foolish or the ridiculous but brill Must Be A Reason being considered as a single? WHY?! We may never, ever know. And that makes me sad...
• Joe McElderry ~ poor little geordie Joe. It started off well enough by unfeasibly making Ambitions - a bittersweet melancholy tune - into the perkiest disco number this side of Yes Sir, I can Boogie. Then no one seemed to connect to the equally percolating Someone Wake Me Up, despite it's Narnia themed, better than Carrie Underwood b-side. There's more little pop diamonds that the public should get a fist pumping dance routine for too whether it be the alphabeaty Feel The Fire or the Scisster-like Farenheit. Like poor Shayne though, I can't help but feel that the ship has already sailed. It's all about the Wand Erection now...
• Westlife ~ How could i forget the 'loife? Dwayne reminded me in the comments of this horribly mismanaged campaign. He's absolutely right in stating that the far more energetic Beautiful Tonight would have been a much better first single, but i'm thinking even any second single would be a bonus at this stage. It's been over three months. And if I hear the boys say once more how each new album is the real them and how they want to be like Pink and release four-five singles from it, then do bugger all, I'll have a coniption fit. 
• Sophie Ellis Bextor ~ releasing something would be a fine fine start. Thank you.

Back sunday with thoughts on the delirously amazing new Eric Saade song!

Ooo it really is the most wonderful time of the year. The walk to work this morning was jolly freezing, the fields were glistening with frost and I get to go home tonight and pack for two weeks of Florida! How magnifico. I have lots of posts to keep you going over the next couple of weeks and hope you will keep me entertained with plenty of comments as although I am having a self imposed internet exile (it's so cleansing!), comments will come straight to my phone. Hurrah! In the mean time (and in between time - guess that pop reference, 90s disney group fans!), here are 10 lovely new Christmas songs and one extremely brilliant non festive treat (for more excellent Christmas stuff visit John's writing on top40about.com)...

The non-festive nugget ~ Dirty Disco return with Storyteller:

Sometimes, just sometimes at Christmas you need a bit of respite from the relentless cheer and good tidings that are almost rammed down your throat. Dirty Disco's excellent and thoughtprovoking new single is just the tune to do this. Following on from deliriously bonkers yet quality pop like Sista, Vulture and White Room, the innovative and artsy group have returned with an intense, brooding, gothic electro tune. It's tinged with eerie synth sounds and a stark strumming guitar and tackles aging, our obsession with youth and fitting into a restrictive society while remaining true to yourself. If you need a comparison, try Kidz or SOS on the new Take That album - yet it's different to those and has it's own Dirty Disco charm. Adam's distinctive voice consumes the lyrics to make them both angry and regretful at times without sounding aggressive (though there is a rather glorious "fuck" early on). The instrumental parts weave together and elevate an already good tune into a great one - little touches like the sounds of strings at the end or the guitar playing off the synth give little frissons of excitement throughout. Check the video above too as Adam and the boys in some haunting costumes seek down the Storyteller they wish to become. Tremendous stuff...

10 New Christmas Tunes:

• Hurts ~ All I Want For Christmas Is New Years Day: Yay! Hurts top off a year of quality music with an exquisite new festive offering that examines the bleaker side of this time of year. With a familiar sounding shuffling beat, sound effects that sound like walking over freshly crunching snow and chiming bells through a soaring chorus, the boys look at how the hope can make one feel even more lonely and hopeless as the persevere to get through the season. I like a bit of bleakness at Christmas and this is one beautifully crafted tune that once again proves they are stars in the ascendency. Check out vinny vero's review also...
• Owl City ~ Peppermint Winter: It's Fireflies the festive edition and the complete antithesis of the Hurts track. It's a love letter to all the cheesiness of this time of year and how it's even more magical if you just embrace it. Full of feel good bon mots like "i troll through the driveway with angelic grace/til i slip on the sidewalk and fall on my face" & "the snowflakes are falling and I start to float/til my mean older brother shoves snow down my coat", it's built around a sleigh ride of bells and the glorious refrain "what's december without Christmas eve". Heavenly optimistic and joyful. Love.
• Mans Zelmerlow ~ Christmas (Baby Please Come Home): I shall return to Mans' festive album a few more times before the big day. His big band readings of yuletide faves are brimming with elegance and a genuine warmth and love for the genre and songs he sings. This is a classy addition to any Christmas dinner party soundtrack and gets you fingerclicking along. Brilliant orchestration of the music too. I'm loving Mans formal Christmas look too - you can just imagine him coming home, loosening his tie and smooching the face off you under the mistletoe. Now, that's magic :)
• Wilson Phillips ~ Warm Loving Christmastime: It's not the first time the Wilsons have done Christmas (indeed this song featured on the second Wilson linked Christmas album - Carnie's solo) but it is the first time they have all felt the seasonal pull together. And hurrah, it's glorious, particularly for a long standing Wilson Phillips fan like myself :) It's a swinging and fun pop song with enough added jingle and bells to make it feel as Christmas morn as possible. And those choruses are saturated in their amazing harmonies. So so lovely. Well worth the import charges!!
• Jessica Simpson ~ My Only Wish: Jessica gets a lot of stick and I'm not sure why. I'm glad she's done a Christmas album anyway. This single from it is a decent pop tune and a nice ode to her new fella. Showcases her great pop voice (come back from country music!) and reminds me of how fun some of her music has been. Bits of it are reminiscent of Darlene Love's Alone on Christmas (which Britney liberally borrowed for her christmas tune) but it's a catchy little number with a lovely intricate piano middle 8. marvy.
• Indigo Girls ~ Mistletoe: Who would have thought that a blue(grass) Christmas would be so enchanting? The Indigo Girls did - their Happy Holly Days album alternates between rollicking joy and reflective pauses. This is one of the most beautiful on the album - a stripped back lyrical poem, resonant in a superb tenor vocal and supported by subtle harmonies and a gentle guitar. Makes me stop and luxuriate in it's beauty each time I hear it. Reminds me a little of Bette Midler's The Folks Who Live On The Hill. Never thought i'd make that comparison, but it's a complimentary one :) Delightful tune that you should really check out...
• Pink Martini ~ A Snowglobe Christmas: It's like being transported to a simpler time when the movies were black and white and people wrote to each other using pen and paper. This is a timeless, hawaian tinged classic that would sound beautiful whatever time period you are in when sung like this. it's from a whole album of magical wonder and one that should really investigate. As close to Doris Day as you are going to get this snowglobe Christmas. Like a festive hug and kiss. Melts me every time.
• Mariah Carey ~ Christmastime Is In The Air Again: I'm sure I'll return to Mariah's new Christmas album again lots more before the 25th December. There are lots of fun moments on that but this is one of the slower, sipping mulled wine by the fireplace moments. It's a string laden track with a restrained and impeccable vocal from Mariah that enables the song to transcend genres and time. The pull of the tune is undeniable and I soon find myself having little memory flashbacks to the ghosts of my own Christmas past. Dickensian!
• Lady Antebellum ~ Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas: A lovely little reading of this classic tune from the country group du jour. The cd of Christmas faves is (I believe) only available at Target but it's worth tracking down as it's full of faithful renditions like this that just sparkle with sincerity. Plus the fellas look proper foxy on the cover :)
• Puppini Sisters ~ Step Into Christmas: SCREAM! The Puppinis are back! And they have stuck to their absolutely delightful Andrews Sisters for the new millenium mantra. This has led to an amazing album of jazz tinged, boogie woogie Christmas faves and their turn on this Elton John fave is a fizzy explosion of joi de vivre all wrapped up in their tightly knitted harmonies. So much fun yet put together so very cleverly, very carefully and very well. Check out their older christmas tunes too like Jingle Bells and Little Match Girl. Top drawer!

Top 21 songs of the week

21 ~ Gabriella Cilmi, Defender (NE)
20 ~ Jessie J, Price Tag
19 ~ Ola, Riot
18 ~ McFly, Shine A Light
17 ~ Shayne Ward, Gotta Be Somebody
16 ~ Joe McElderry, Someone Wake Me Up (VID)
15 ~ Darin, Drowning
14 ~ Eric Saade, Break of Dawn
13 ~ Westlife, Safe
12 ~ Kylie, Better Than Today
11 ~ A1, In Love & I Hate It
10 ~ P!nk, Raise Your Glass
09 ~ Deborah Gibson, I Love You
08 ~ EMD, What Is Love?
07 ~ JLS, Love You More
06 ~ Le Kid, We Should Go Home Together
05 ~ Andrea Lewis ft Simon Curtis, Talk To Me
04 ~ Take That, The Flood
03 ~ Daniel Boys, To Make You Feel My Love
02 ~ Gravitonas, You Break Me Up
01 ~ Elouise, You'll Never Walk Alone (1 week)

I've had such a busy week that i'm not sure i'm caught up on everything enough to do a decent blog today! So I had a quick butchers at last years blogs to see what I was getting up to while I impatiently waited until it was feasible enough to start doing all the new Christmas music reviews (I'm giving at least one more week). And keeping with, but not quite, the festive spirit I was having a gander at what songs should be Christmas singles for todays popstars (none of them were. Bah. No one ever listens to me. So I present some songs that absolutely should be the big Christmas single promotional push for artists. But won't be...

THE CHRISTMAS CHART THAT WON'T BE...

• Jason Donovan ~ When You Come Back To Me (Yuletide Sleigh Mix): Should absolutely be rereleased to not only celebrate his new covers album I Love The 80s but also his brillo double cd rerelease of Between The Lines. It's as festive and jolly as you remember, but this lesser heard version has a entirely seasonal talky bit at the beginning which is as cheesy but delicious as some festive stilton. ESSENTIAL!
• Joe McElderry ~ Someone Wake Me Up/There's A Place For Us : Mercifully, this is the second single from Joe's album and is released the week before whatever cover version Simon foists upon this year's X Factor winner. It's the perfect chirpy follow up to Ambitions, but to give it some extra welly, it totally needs to be a double A side with the rather lovely traditional ballad from the new Narnia film (performed by EMD here).
• Bjorn Johan Muri ft Kelly Mueller ~ Nobody Knows: In a perfect world, Bjorn would have had some sizeable hits in the UK now with Yes Man and Once Upon A Time. But whoever said this world was perfect? This sparse, electro-tinged and slightly haunting but very pretty and melodic ballad duet would light up the ending of any Christmas party while drunken, ill-matched couples smooch away in their corner and cop a good feel. Lovely.
• Maroon 5 ~ Never Gonna Leave This Bed: What has gone wrong with the Hands All Over campaign? It's sort of fizzled out in the UK and the lovely Adam and his gang need something that's a bit familiar, a bit warm and a bit catchy to get it back on track. This radio friendly, singalong track would be perfect. How about some cozy hotel room ski lodge style video with a nice roaring fire to make it a bit more "tis the season"...Ta.
• Scissor Sisters ~ Sex and Violence: See above about latest Maroon 5 album campaign? Ditto the Scissters. Bah humbug I say, bah humbugger. Every Christmas needs a song that is so wonderfully not festive and such an antithesis to all the sleighbells and good tidings - this dark, disco tinged creation is just that and so exquisitely dangerous. Play loud.
• Le Kid ~ We Should Go Home Together: It's perhaps the perkiest pop song you've heard in the longest time - sort of a mix between Alphabeat's 10,000 Nights of Thunder and Britannia High's perennially amazing Start of Something (exuberant live version of course). Just the sort of skip along with happiness that you need when you've been splashed from head to toe by a bus driving through a slushy puddle. and need cheering up (yes this was my walk home from work)...
• Elouise ~ Massive Christmas song: That's not the title of the song of course but I need a nice festive single and while Bananarama and Mariah are doing that quite wonderfully (see chart below), I think Elouise could clean up with a rather heavenly Christmas album - all class and none of that shouty wailing that Mercedes is doing all over the Glee Christmas album. Give her an elegant version of As Long As There's Christmas and pair it with a heartbreaking ballad such as Deborah Gibson's Christmas Without You. There won't be a dry eye in the house...
• X Factor Finalists ~ All I Need Is You: Tragically this will never happen. Britain gets a dodgy cover of David Bowie's Heroes. I still maintain that Hotel Rival's Second Best To None should be the perfect X Factor finalists single that would linger in the charts for weeks. Swedish Idol has done the next best thing by putting out this gorgeously optimistic and uplifting tune. Just imagine how brillo this would be with Wagner doing a line, Nicolo Ford Fiesta being all bitter and Cher(yl)Clone being all rap-esque like Lady Sovereign in the middle somehow. It would be top ten for weeks.
• X Factor Winner ~ My Heart Is Yours/Story Of A Heart: How about being a bit daring and having a great double A side winners single like the glory (hole) days of William of Young?! One side could be the eurovision entry for Norway this year originally sung by the devillishly goodlooking Didrik Solli-Tang and the other side could be the yearning beauty of Benny Andersson Band's Story Of A Heart. Both epic. Both not v well known in the UK. And if they are too sweeping, the winner (aka Matt) can always do an acoustic version with some nice soprano here and there...

Top 21 Singles of The Week:

21 ~ Joe McElderry, Someone Wake Me Up (NE)
20 ~ Joe McElderry, Ambitions
19 ~ Grobbie, Shame
18 ~ Darin, Drowning
17 ~ Eric Saade, Break of Dawn
16 ~ Kylie, Better Than Today (NE)
15 ~ Ola, Riot
14 ~ A1, In Love & I Hate It
13 ~ Jessie J, Price Tag (VID)
12 ~ Robbie Williams, Heart & I
11 ~ Le Kid, We Should Go Home Together
10 ~ JLS, Love You More
09 ~ Westlife, Safe
08 ~ McFly, Shine A Light
07 ~ EMD, What Is Love?
06 ~ P!nk, Raise Your Glass
05 ~ Deborah Gibson, I Love You
04 ~ Andrea Lewis ft Simon Curtis, Talk To Me
03 ~ Shayne Ward, Gotta Be Somebody
02 ~ Take That, The Flood
01 ~ Gravitonas, You Break Me Up (2 weeks)

Christmas singles chart (full version coming next week) ~ 3 - Annie Lennox, Universal Child; 2 - Mariah Carey, Oh Santa; 1 - Bananarama, Baby It's Christmas (1 week)

I may have had a change of heart re: Joe and Ambitions. I still would have liked to see Joe kick off with an original tune, but the video has won me over. I still totally adore the Donkeyboy song, but this is a perky, jolly version that almost makes it Ambitions:The Glee remix. PLUS! Dance routine! Immensicles. Adding to a boypop video breakdown update are The Wanted who quickly established themselves where millions have failed before as the boyband du jour. Their second single, Heart Vacancy is out soon. Let's see what pop's most eligible young men (collectively) have come up with!

Joe McElderry - Ambitions

• So many youtube videos start with an advertisement now. Still Charlie St Cloud looks quite good and Zac Efron still has quite good movie star hair.
• (PS, I nicked the shot above from D'Luv. You can read his Joe thoughts here...)
• Oh, it's on. Joe gets out of a yellow cab clutching something in his hot little hand. His quiff works for him as he wonders through the downtown streets of Anytown USA
• Only don't be fooled pop pickers! Your eyes have been deceived! deceived I tells ya! The town is moving! It's actually a soundstage with lots of people working on Joe's video shoot. how postmodern! How breaking the fourth wall!
• To be fair, young Joseph looks like he is having a whale of a time, and I do quite enjoy the strutting through the streets moments at around 25seconds...
• There's bunting! Simon Cowell loves bunting! It was all over the Same Difference We R One video. Joe grabs a lady friend and then this happens...
• DANCE ROUTINE! It's fist fist fist fist, shoulder shimmy, arm wave. you can't really go wrong with that can you? It's very Steps/Same Difference/SClubHoweverMany and that's a-ok with me.
• The dancing is clearly a watercooler moment as americans might say. This is evidenced at 58seconds when Joe walks past some strumpet leaning against a watercooler! Amazing. I love a bit of in your face not at all subtle literal interpretation. And I'm not even being sarcastic.
• Oh Gay J, I am loving the vid. I'm being won over! There is an orchestra setting up and some silly billy drops his papers all over the streets. I was a bit disappointed Joe didn't go and help him. he always seemed like such a gentleman.
• Oh phew. he has gone to help :) Gentleman status fully restored. And what does silly billy do? Throw them in the air and launches into the dance routine! Amazing. I always said Joe was very musical theatre and this kind of cements that for me. It's an ebullient fun loving moment, and adds a certain joie de vivre to what ultimately is quite a melancholy (lyrically) tune...
• People are dancing all over the place. it reminds me a bit of Hi-Fidelity from Kids From Fame. There are some good looking fellas behind Joe giving it a shimmy and a shake, and the dedicated chappy doesn't even get distracted for even a second. My cosmic horn makes me pause the video to get a better look though :P
• Pause at around 2m14s and you'll get a pretty good idea of what the inevitable X Factor live performance will look like.
• Let's marvel a little more at the dance routine - the bit at around 2m30s with arms in the air, then arms to the floor is taken directly from Mamma Mia's Dancing Queen routine on the docks.
• I'm actually quite disappointed that the end of the video is nigh, but little J is growing up because that is some serious sultry seduction he's giving to the camera with his eyes!!
• I can confirm that I think I have been pretty much won over by the video. I'm so easy :P

The Wanted ~ Heart Vacancy

• Loving the footwear boys. Boots are so this season (and a bit last season as well, but some fashions transcend more than one season so it is ok). Also loving the neutral colours going on. Boyband walking down a deserted street is a classic nod to those that have paved the way before you!
• There are some nice close ups of the boys too. Some chiselled cheekbones and cheeky grins happening. Pause at exactly 9 seconds and marvel at the facial contours of Max. You could slice cheese on that structure!
• It's all very serious, though there is a little bit of laddish tomfoolery going on at about 25s and they all find something quite amusing about 10 seconds later. Perhaps someone has let one rip?
• The glorious chorus starts and the boys all sing together. Meanwhile, night time has fallen and all the locals are gathering in some beautiful church courtyard to watch an old movie. I hope it's Barefoot In The Park. That's a Jane Fonda classic!
• During the second verse, I shift allegiences between which member is currently "the fittest" almost as often as the camera flits between them. Back at the movies, a young lady is backlit by the projector giving her an angelic glow...
• The boys are now at the movies (that young lady finds gently amusing), and having a right good singsong at the back. This proves that this is just a casual movie event. If it was the Vue they would have been kicked out by now :P
• Just prior to the 2m30s mark, the guy in the movie with classic 40s slicked back hair gives the camera a smouldering look. Young Lady finds this most enticing and clutches her hankerchief to her bosom. I would mock her for this, but I am convinced that Patrick Dempsey gave me such a look once in a Grey's Anatomy...
• It's now the middle 8 of the song, and Curly Haired Wanted is belting it out. Most pleasingly too. Meanwhile, the locals are getting a bit annoyed at the distraction. Honestly, some people have no appreciation for pop music. Even the stars of the film are getting jittery, while Young Lady gets well excited!
• Oh my goodness. 40s Movie Star has legged it out of the screen and gone for the hand of Young Lady. One of the locals quite rightly finds this a bit disturbing, gets the vapours and has to have a bit of a lie down. I would have just had a mint baileys myself to take the edge off...
• Young Lady has gone to live in the movies. Don't we all wish we could do that. I would live in Mean Girls. Or Love, Actually. Probably flit between the two. Anyway, the locals are over the shock and loving this happy ending. There's quite an amusing shot of the rest of the movie stars trying, but failing, to get through the screen. Sigh. They don't get the message - Young Lady filled 40s Movie Star's heart vacancy.
• And that's it. Tres bon. PS, kudos on being embeddable. Unlike Joe. Grrr.

Coming sat - weekly pop update! Coming sun - X FACTOR BOOT CAMP!!!!

While waiting for the final auditions to air, I came across Joe McElderry. Not literally of course, that would be wildly inappropriate. No, his new single finally aired on radio. It's called Ambitions and even though I didn't really want him to win X Factor (I still feel he's more musical theatre bound) I was willing to give his solo career a try (The Climb notwithstanding as that was thrust upon whoever won). You know, Leona got the career defining Bleeding Love, Alexandra got the ballsy Bad Boys and even poor Leon got the very overlooked Don't Call This Love. What does Joe get? A cover version. Granted a cover version that the masses won't really know. And it's a fabbo song to be sure. But if you have already heard Donkeyboy's Ambitions, then there is no need to hear Joe's near note for note(ish) cover. Sure, it will probably be gobbled up and lauded an amazing hit. But i'm proper pissed off by this. Donkeyboy deserved to storm the UK with that song and become the pop legends they are in Norway. I only hope they take the money they make and come up with an even better "sophomore" album. I need to take two kalms now before the show starts...
EDIT: It's the morning after and the kalms have worked. I'm still grossly disappointed in the song choice but it's what the world has come to expect from SyCo (repurposing European hits that the general masses won't have heard - and I'm also informed the Leon song was actually a cover and reminded that Shayne Ward got No Promises, another cover) and i'm sure that it will do well for the little tyke (who looks quite nice on the album cover). I'm still sticking with Donkeyboy though...

• Damian Devine ~ love that "on the last day of auditions", the judges have changed clothes from the outside shots to the inside shots. Perhaps they were sweaty? Amazing. Damian Devine (his real name) looks like the River Island sales rack threw up on him, so it's probably fitting that he "butcher" (ho ho, cos she wore a meat dress don't you know) Poker Face. Well you can't fault his enthusiasm I suppose, even though he comes across like a dvd extra of a failed audition for the character of Kurt on Glee. It's a no. But a nice polite fella. (more "dance" filled auditions follow and all the judges change clothes intermittantly again).
• Tobias ~ He's 20 and had about 20 jobs. I'm 36 and have only had 6. Good grief. He looks on this as a job interview. He's doing well as he only says his name and he gets a massive scream. Nice hair. He's (daringly) doing the Moulin Rouge version of Your Song and oh, it's quite pleasant. He needs to stop holding his tummy while he sings though. "I'm worried that this will be your 21st job" Simon reasonably states. "I'm punctual" smiles Tobias and a nation falls in love with his cheeky charm. It's a yes. And then even more people get a yes! THIS IS UNPRECENDENTED AND NEVER HAPPENS ON THE X-FACTOR!!! :P (inc some girl whose name I missed but did an exquisite version of You Don't Have To Say You Love Me). (Actually lots of good auditions follow but none get enough time to do them justice).
• Harry ~ Androgynous 16 year old Harry is the lead singer of a band, who he has clearly ditched for this audition process. Lots of people kiss him before he goes on stage. I thought his mom was going to wet a tissue and dab at his face. He does Stevie Wonder (relevance alert) and I can't help but feel the audience are too quick in Manchester to holler their approval. He's barely done a note and they are screaming. Louis says no cos Harry is too young. This is ridiculous and an X Factor pet peeve of mine. It usually comes from Simon so it's a bit hypocritical when simon says this is a rubbish reason. Harry aka Mini-Mika gets through though.

• Diva Fever ~ Oh Christ. They liken themselves to Wham and I sort of like them before they've even sung a note. I'm confused by their Whammyness though when they sing Let It Be and are all solomn. it's nice but not particularly exciting. They then get to do Proud Mary instead (relevance alert). "I'm singing for my life cos I'm not having a no" sasses one. ooo get you. It's bloody brilliant. I LOVE THEM. They are my Same Difference for 2010. Louis (not shockingly) leads a trio of yesness!
• Richard ~ He's obviously this year's DILF. Wella t least it's an improvement of poor dead wife Daniel from a few years back. He's a pub singer and Simon tells him he has one tune to prove himself. Richard looks at him like this is brand new information. He settles on Higher & Higher (relevance alert). It's ok, at least he's more in time than his family's pitiful attempts to clap along. Louis reels out the "you've picked up too many bad habits in the clubs" line that comes up every year. The tears are starting to well. In Richard's eyes not mine. I couldn't care less, though it's a surprising no as there haven't been many non-comedy nos this year. Perhaps this is planning in advance and he is actually scripted to come back next year and prove the judges wrong.
• Marlon ~ Oh ok, I was wrong about Richard so Marlon gives being this year's DILF a bash. In a horrible t-shirt and a hat he's borrowed from Ortise JLS. He sings Ain't No Sunshine (relevance alert again) and does his own slightly weird version that doesn't sound contemporary at all, though you can see Simon thinking it is amazeballs (though not amazeballs enough to stop munching his nuts). Look, I didn't particularly like it or him but he's obviously through. Danyl 2.0
• Westlife ~ A new Westlife song is playing in the background and it's wonderfully orchestral, soaring and appropriately inspiring. I can't wait to hear the full version - let's hope the new album gets treated better than their last one :/ So much better than Joe...

NEXT WEEK - BOOTCAMP!!!