Is not the name of a new thrashy pop punk group lead by a deliciously edible scruffy but sweet lead singer. No. It is the little occurrences of the past 8 hours that make up this wonderful thing called life:
FACT: I arrived at work to find the management team in full panic mode. I can't really say what was going on, but it certainly meant that the best part of my morning was spent going through contracts and doing damage control. I didn't even get to follow Popjustice opening the post on twitter. Hideous.
FACT: I was so bleary eyed and tired from contract reading and arse kissing/damage controlling (i'm not a particularly brilliant arse kisser), that when i was making myself a lovely cup of Caro, the HR woman (think Vicar of Dibley lookalike) was telling me about a bug keeping lots of staff off and then said "i wish i had a bug - i'd lose some weight"!! Without even thinking, I said "oh you'll need more than a bug" :O Don't chastise me - I am mortified enough. I have no tact when I am tired! Hideous.
FACT: This one is, er, a little delicate. I have been having tummy problems of late and the doctor gave me some stuff that really works, but er, really doesn't give me much notice when nature calls. If you aren't on board now, i'm not explaining further! Anyhoo, I ran rather urgently to the bathroom today, and such was my haste, i didn't notice the toilet seat wasn't down and fell rather hard into the bowl, bruising my cocyx. I may have screamed rather loud too. Hideous.
FACT: Darren and I decided to get take out to cheer ourselves up after respectively awful/boring days. Only I had to go and get it (thanks Mr Pants). On the way back through the town centre, some religious nutter on religious pills escaped from nutter camp kept accosting me with warnings of fire and brimstone, and only Jesus' light could save me, and love, etc. In the end, i got a little bit narked and had my second tactless outburst of the day snapping "oh jesus christ, if heaven is filled with people like you, i'd rather keep warm in the fires of hell thank you very much. Now piss off" Only the piss off sounded really camp and gay. Hideous.
FACT: Listening to the mighty mighty Erik Hassle's Hurtful on the way home, getting a Chinese and watching tv with darren (Heartbreakers, Jennifers bosoomas are off the scale in it!) made the end of the day more bearable. Less Hideous.
THE END.
