Good Sunday to all you fine people choosing to read my blog today. I know you have a choice of blogs to read so thank you for taking the time out to read mine ;) Or something. I was going to cover some new Lily Allens (chick style) today but to be honest I couldn't be bothered with them, realising that yesterdays men Lily were much better, so instead I will regale you with tales of my fun night out with the gang... Sunday is going far too quickly for my liking. But isn't that always the way? I have to be up at 5am tomorrow to take my beloved DazPizza to the airport and then have a full day of work ahead of me. Sheesh kebab! Still, it will be last week with the glamorous Coventry City Council and while i'll be sad to leave some of my friends behind, i never really settled there and I can't wait to start my new job on Feb 5th. So for now I will look forward to two weeks off work, some exciting website developments and plenty of stuff for you lovely people to digest :) On with the post!
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THEZAPPING NIGHT OUT
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You may be wondering why there is a half naked man in pink undies at the top of this fine page... or you just may be appreciating the picture. Well, DazPants and I invested in some new aussie bum underwear and I deviated from my usual style and got the saucy pink undies you see at the top. When I wore them for the first time last night on a night out, I was shocked to discover how scandalously revealing they were and barely covered my "Man Thatch" as well as rode up my ass like a cheap two bit bloke-whore all night. And trust me, they did not look as good on me as they did on the rather more buff model above. But i think i managed to pull off a fairly casual ensemble and give it a bit of street flair with a jauntily placed cap. I am convinced I could walk through the rough streets of Birmingham like this and no one would bat an eyelid. My friend Cat said that was charmingly naive of me...
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So instead I added a nice warm scarf as a fashion accessory and snuggled up to a quite drunk Darren before we headed out with the stunning Bernice and hot new lesbian couple Hironda Mitsubishi and Steph. We popped into the overcrowded village and ended up staying all evening. DazPhoto was slightly overstimulated by beer and did his old "i've got worms" bottom wiggle on the chair for all to see and took about a million photos with his sexy new camera phone. Him and Hironda disappeared for most the night to strut their funky stuff to Musical Youth on the dancefloor while i gossiped with Bernice and Steph. I was quite enjoying grooving in my chair to Fame when rather mortifyingly some old man came up behind me and started grinding his obviously over blood pumped fallis into the back of my head. I was too terrified to turn around in case i got it in my eye and had to grin and bear it until he heard my shouts of "for gods sake Fuck Off!" Jeebus! .
Awww, don't we all look nice. This was seconds before some old bloke who was about 30lbs overweight and wearing a belly revealing tank top walked past and I wittily said "ooo look its Darren in ten years time" which everyone found hilarious except Darren oddly enough... And then as I was quite drunk at this point, i started sending saucy texts to everyone i knew which was hugely embarrassing in the morning! Then, just before we were about to leave, I was in the bathroom and some 19 yr old twink thing starts saying to his equally odious friend, 'oh it must be cold in here, oh it's so chilly, it is like the antartic, wearing a scarf indoors...' and went on and on about it. I "finished up" spun round and (as i was now not in a good mood) said "do you have a problem? I don't fucking judge your horrible trousers or nancy boy haircut so just shut up" and then stomped (read: minced) out. Yes readers, you've seen the moody side of the zapping and it ain't pretty!
Good Sunday to all you fine people choosing to read my blog today. I know you have a choice of blogs to read so thank you for taking the time out to read mine ;) Or something. I was going to cover some new Lily Allens (chick style) today but to be honest I couldn't be bothered with them, realising that yesterdays men Lily were much better, so instead I will regale you with tales of my fun night out with the gang... Sunday is going far too quickly for my liking. But isn't that always the way? I have to be up at 5am tomorrow to take my beloved DazPizza to the airport and then have a full day of work ahead of me. Sheesh kebab! Still, it will be last week with the glamorous Coventry City Council and while i'll be sad to leave some of my friends behind, i never really settled there and I can't wait to start my new job on Feb 5th. So for now I will look forward to two weeks off work, some exciting website developments and plenty of stuff for you lovely people to digest :) On with the post! 
