Lopez Blogs

It's definitely been a "popstars in peril" couple of weeks. First of all, Adam Tyler gets a face slapping and drink tipped all over him in Friction; then Adam Levine gets the living bejeezus kicked out of him (with the rest of Maroon 5 not fairing too well, including the increasingly delicious Jesse) in Misery; then yesterday it was the turn of Amy Meredith to be tortured in all sorts of ways for their brilliant video to the amazing and intoxicating song Lying. And now, my delicate fleur, B-Flo takes literal interpretation of his Crossfire song lyrics to the next level with his video clip to accompany it. Let's have a "butchers" at what he got up to. PS, he does look quite splendid in the picture above doesn't he?

Brandon Flowers ~ Crossfire:

• Aw, it's a nice opening shot of Brandon. He looks like he has hurt his noise and I think he is having trouble getting his eyes to focus. He does look quite good with messy hair though...
• Blimey, the video is only 15seconds old and he has nodded off. He is dressed like my grandpa though with braces and a collarless shirt. This is obviously haut couture in vegas. Or he just bought it from a thrift shop due to the budget for the video being blown on the upcoming "special effects" (don't get too excited)...
• B-Flo starts singing at thirty seconds and as the camera pulls back it is easier to appreciate his kiss curl and full plump lips. He clearly comes from good Mormon stock (as do I - you can buy it in Mormon supermarkets next to Chicken Bisto)...
• OH NO! PERIL ALERT! Call Penelope Pitstop! Brandon has been tied to a chair. Quite ineffectively I might add. A bit of struggling and he'd soon be free. Frankly he is just sitting there all passive. Perhaps he is tired. Or wants to be there?! Who can tell :P But for the purposes of the song, it will be because he is about to be caught in the crossfire... are you getting excited?!
• Oh golly, it's getting exciting now, almost like a preview for an upcoming Bond film. Two ninjas are thrown past Brandon like molotov cocktails. He doesn't seem too alarmed.
• This is because a very slim lady has come to rescue him. She is wearing a tank top which means she is either not a very good mormon or not a mormon at all, because her special underwear would so show up under that. Good lady mormons are often called Molly Mormon btw...
• She mercilessly slaughters a sneaky ninja who has failed sneakiness school and can't even sneak up quietly behind her. The goon. For this he gets a massive sword in his gut.
• Brandon is quite taken by this behaviour and does a lovely smile if you pause at 1m28. Swoon!
But oh dear part two. Even before the camera pans back, I can tell that at 1m31s Brandon has now been captured again (obviously the same day, or he only has one pair of clothes) and is now tied to an upturned bedframe. Don't ask me how I know, I wouldn't want to incriminate myself!
• Or, on the other hand, he could have just forgotten the safe word which is such a rookie mistake I'm blushing for him :P
• He takes a bucketful of water to the face quite well at 1m45 and even manages to look quite yummy and dignified dripping wet. Which is quite an achievement.
• Golly! They are going to electrocute poor Brandon! How dastardly! Luckily, slim non-Molly Mormon rescues him once again with two well placed ninja-stars to the forehead. Good aim, madam, good aim!
• At around 2m30s she looks well pissed off that he has gone and got himself captured again. Oh you oaf her look says. Sowwy, his sheepish grin says. Cute.
• I do like that fact that it's the peril in the verses (and middle 8) followed by rescue in the chorus. There is something entirely pleasing about that whole process...
• In the lovely middle 8 (aurally), non-Molly runs over a few more ninjas, elbows a few (she is well skinny so I bet she has got well boney elbows) and frankly looks a bit exhausted as she enters what one can only presume is Brandon's final kidnapped again location. He's just a magnet for trouble that boy!
• He is! He's only gone and got kidnapped for a third time. And you know the saying... kidnap me once, shame on you. Kidnap me twice, shame on me. Or something. I'm confused.
• It all ends with her driving Brandon home, presumably cos she's let him out her sight twice before and he's been abducted. The careless goon...
• I do quite like this clip though...