Lopez Blogs

Another topsy turvey week has come to a close. It ended with a nice if somewhat subdued night with the Ace Gang. I got all excited because my rain dance that I had done in the shower earlier that evening (once again everyone - not a fan of the heat; I spent a fortune on Boots Hot Weather Cooling Mist spray this week) seemed to pay off as drops of precipitation landed upon me. However, it seemed that I had been a bit of an eager beaver (titter - I said beaver) as it only lasted a few seconds. So I drowned my sorrows with Pimms. Let me tell you - Pimms + Heat = Lightweight Paul. I was so tipsy I was trying to persuade everyone to re-enact the All The Lovers video. For shame. That (and this excellent post over at The Blog That Mark Wrote; brilliant read and now on twitter!) got me thinking about other things in life that make you go hmmm as you reminisce through the years... So today's sermon is taken from the Book of Revelations. Judge not, lest ye be judged :P Oh and the video above is a "just because" moment... (but do read Scandipop's interview with lovely Eric here!)

THE BOOK OF REVELATIONS

1. Never try to pee on someone: It may come as no big surprise that I was an enormous doofus at school. However, I had my own Ace Gang even back then and sixth form was some of the funniest times of my life. For some unknown reason one hot summers day, I was in the boy's first floor bathroom and noticed that the little window was directly above where some mean boys were sitting. I clearly lost all reasoning because I thought the perfect revenge would be to piddle out the window on their heads. I climbed onto the top of the cistern, placed my you know what out the window and got ready to revenge-pee all over them. Only there was this sickening crack. And the cistern broke. As it did, I fell back so hard that I knocked the locked door off it's hinges and lay unconscious covered by toilet water. Oh and you pee when you are unconscious too. Trying explaining that to the school nurse :/
2. Only bears should shit in the wood: Whilst on a ski trip with school in France, I got my first taste of getting tipsy. On half a can of cider. We had left the confines of the hotel and had a right merry old romp in the local village. Only all the teachers were drunk in the hotel bar, so we couldn't exactly sneak back in and I was desperate for the toilet. Tragically a number two. My "friends" convinced me to do it over a drain at the back of the hotel and despite it being freezing out, i was drunk enough to think this was a good idea. It was not. It was very icy and I lost my balance and slid all the way down the hill at the back of the hotel, grazing my ass to buggery and leaving an unpleasant trail behind :/ :/ :/ I was shamed, pained and bleeding and all my friends could do was laugh like hyenas :/
3. Never be ashamed of your choices: I happen to still think that, despite powerhouse vocals (Leona Lewis), boyband magnificence (JLS - until Club is Alive) and quite good pop (Alexandra Burke), Same Difference are my most favourite act to come from The X Factor with Shayne "will my 3rd album EVER be released" Ward a very close second. There is something unshamedly brilliant about Same Difference's complete love of pop. Just check them out singing their little hearts out above and try not to sing along and do the "photo frame" dance move. Nigh on impossible...
4. I thought reindeers were mythical for 33 years: I actually thought reindeer weren’t real, you know because of the whole santa not real (gasp!) thing and them being linked to him. I only found out last year. I shit you not. I still like to think that Hippogriffs ARE real though so make of that twisted logic what you will!
5. 1999-2002 was pop gold for me: S Club! A*Teens! Hear'say! Kylie's Light Years! Deborah Gibson's MYOB! However the pinnacle was my beloved Steps :) I have been to see Steps 7 times. Even at my youngest I was 25!! And i accidentally punched a girl so hard in the face during tragedy that her devil horns fell off.
6. At least it wasn't Slytherin: Everytime I do one of those "which house at Hogwarts would you be in?" tests on facebook or the like, I end up in Hufflepuff. Every single time. Even if I try and distort the answers!! So it is my fate to be a life long Hufflepuff. And you know what? I think that is more than ok. I am total hufflepuff.
7. My tv choices are often dubious: Although I do watch quality tv from time to time (Twin Peaks, Lost, Buffy, Gilmore Girls, Veronica Mars, Doctor Who, Weeds, True Blood, et al), my dvd cabinet is littered with badly written trash that I can't help but love. And when I can't buy it, I will track it down another way. Ergo, I have a 1TB external hard drive that contains every episode (in wildly varying quality) of Dynasty, Prisoner Cell Block H and the greatest soap of all time Sunset Beach. The finales of all of them are quite quite bonkers in their own unique ways :)
8. I only read children's books: This is not completely true, but 90% of my reading comes from this genre. And I don't think that is anything to get sniffy about. Some of the greatest books of all time are written for children. My current read, Withering Tights, is bound to be a literary classic.

There are probably a lot more revelations I could share, but I'll save those for part 2 as I think that's enough public humiliation for today!! Feel free to share some of your revelations in the comments :)

Top 21 songs of the week

21 ~ JLS, The Club is Alive
20 ~ Kelly Rowland, Commander
19 ~ Gabriella Cilmi, Hearts Don't Lie
18 ~ Bjorn Johan Muri, Circles
17 ~ Ola, All Over The World
16 ~ Kylie, Get Outta My Way (NE)
15 ~ Scissor Sisters, Any Which Way (NE)
14 ~ Scissor Sisters, Fire With Fire
13 ~ Chanee & N'Evergreen, In A Moment Like This
12 ~ BrightLightX2, A New Word To Say
11 ~ Le Kid, Mercy Mercy
10 ~ The Bang Bang Club, Chemistry
09 ~ Dirty Disco, White Room
08 ~ Eric Saade, It's Gonna Rain
07 ~ Simon Curtis, Beat Drop
06 ~ Magic Numbers, Pulse
05 ~ Kylie, All The Lovers
04 ~ Brandon Flowers, Crossfire
03 ~ Darin, Can't Stop Love (PIC Above)
02 ~ Same Difference, Shine On Forever
01 ~ Maroon 5, Misery (2 weeks)