Lopez Blogs

December 28th 2009:

An altogether unfulfilling day of shopping. Let's review the evidence:

• The new shopping centre at Aria/Citywalk was mainly snooty shops that I can't abide, mainly because the sales assistants tend to look at me like I'm that whore from Pretty Woman just because I'm wearing jeans from the Gap...
• The miracle mile shops at Planet Hollywood fared somewhat better. FCUK had a decent sale on and Benetton had a brilliantly quirky bow-tie ensemble rocking the mannequin in the window. I think I'm getting old though because H&M looked bright and garish and seemed to be full of 12 year olds...
• The outlet mall was dreadful - usually there are some great bargains to be had but not today.
• I soothed my frazzled shopping nerves with a trip to Barnes and Noble (Wicked: The Musical Pop Up Book for $13? Amazing) which just makes me mourn the loss of Borders in the UK even more. I noticed the other day that the cute little "old fashioned" replica bookstore in Mandalay Bay was now a froghurt place. Sigh. I find this all as sad as people find record store closures.

Because we, once again, had been up since 4am, we decided to stay awake by playing some more video poker where I was on an immense roll but blew it by getting overstimulated and greedy. Then when I stood up my bottom felt cold. The chair I had been on was wet. It hadn't soaked through (due, I assume, to the quality of my jeans - in your face snooty whore judging shop assistants!!) so I hadn't noticed. And it smelt of widdle! Conclusion? Some old lady had got over excited at her $5 win and pissed herself. And I had sat in it! Old lady piss! GAH!!

After an invigorating hot scorch the skin (and piss) off shower, we headed into twilight Vegas to see the Mirage volcanoes (ok) and the Bellagio fountains (brillo - 'specially set to All That Jazz). The Strip was jam packed - mostly with people who seem to think it's "awesome" to walk in the street with beer in a red cup. Please, it is only acceptable when it is a Flirtini. Although beer in a red cup reminds me of visiting my frat friends at SUNY Geneseo. Oh the paddlings :P

On the plus side, I did get a Leigh & Luca scarf. Which Entertainment Tonight later informed me is this season's must have accessory. For women! Oh :/ Though ET said men like Jude Law rock them too. I'm now just like a philandering cad. I do like it though. And the name reminds me of Dean and DeLuca. Which reminds me of Felicity. Always a good thing!

December 29th 2009:

I have 3 flaws. Actually, I have many flaws but 3 of them manifest themselves far more than others during this day. Let's investigate:

1. I'm grossly impatient when it comes to crowds. I haate not being able to walk at my own pace which is usually much quicker than your average dawdle. So a crowded vegas strip isn't conducive to my rage! Particularly when behind drunk college kids with massive margheritas whose conversations consists of "dude", "dude, that's awesome" "you're right, that's awesome dude" and "dude"! c'mon! PS I realise this makes me sound incredibly grumpy and old :/
2. Verbal vomit: Darren is convinced I will be beaten up one day because occasionally I have no social edit over what comes out of my mouth. Case in point ~ I was halfway through the far too narrow walkway to the carpark when this woman came through at the other end with her kids and announced "Excuse me, but my kids need to walk through first" like that was the most normal and sane request in the world! Uh no, perhaps if you children learnt that good manners are paramount rather than coming first, they would have a better role model than you in the world! Luckily, the incredibly rude woman storming out of Barnes & Noble who barged past Darren and I AND blew her Starbucks Frappacino straw wrapper onto me left me so aghast that my vocal chords wouldn't function!
3. I'm aware that no matter how hard I try, sometimes I get this look on my face that suggests to onlookers that all surrounding me is beneath me. This isn't true - I'm just not particularly extrovert. So when we went to The Price Is Right Live and everyone was a-whooping and a-hollering, I must have looked like a right mardybum. So of course I get called to contestants row and have to run down pretending it's the greatest thing that has ever happened to me. It was not. My guess was way low, but they inexplicably gave me an XXL tshirt and at least I charmed the audience with my lovely British accent.

Rest of the day was fun. Darren bought a new jacket from Express that makes him look like a more interesting, slightly older Joe McElderberry (whose photoshoots in magazines like OK are as dull and lifeless as he is). Then some bloke at Palazzo asked if we were fairies - actually, he didn't, he just asked if we wanted our pictures taken WITH some hot fairies. Finally a vegas I can get down with :) So of course we said yes and charmed them by describing our life in England as if it were Kate Winslet's cottage in The Holiday. Works every time.

Pop update on Saturday! Finally!! Including the AMAZING new Elouise EP :)