Lopez Blogs

It's soundtrack week! This both delights and terrifies me. I know I will be grossly disappointed if nobody does the lounge medley from Sister Act. Of course the acts have been all over the papers this week, but none of that matters because it's time. To face. The music. Oh shut up dermot and get on with it luv... (edit: all is written as I've watched the show - additional thoughts from between the show ending and typing up in bold, parenthesis and italics like this!)

STACEY:
Ooo, doesn't Jim Carrey look rough? I only know this because all the contestants were on the red carpet this week for A Christmas Carol and Stacey of course is there spewing her delightful brand of word vomit all over the cast. It's so enchanting. Stacey apparently has to be sexy this week. Cheryl doesn't think she has it in her to be sexy. What a delightfully bitchy thing to say :/ Never mind because Stacey is all sultry doing one of my all time faves, Son Of A Preacher Man. It's bonza despite a couple of questionable vocal moments. Stacey sasses the Cowell and a nation's hearts melt a little bit more...
OLLY:
Incredibly the show has been on for 16 minutes, yet only one person has sung. In his VT Olly signs autographs on the red carpet. They will soon be fetching £1.12 on ebay then. Olly is trying to be "fun cool guy" by doing Twist and Shout exactly as it was done in Ferris Bueller. It's quite disappointing mainly because it doesn't come close to the amazing Salt n Pepa version. Plus I cringe as he replicates the dance bit from the movie and manages to make The Wonders That Thing You Do sound modern and relevant (that song would have been a much better choice!) PS, the audience are way too over stimulated this week and are doing my head in.
LLOYD:
Aka the boy who shouldn't be here. Poor Rachel. If it weren't for Simon's machinations to be the only judge with 3 acts left, Rachel would still be around. For some reason, I find it incredibly amusing when Lloyd says "to be honest, when I was in the bottom two it was a bit rubbish". Profound insight into his mind there. Get him a guest spot on Gavin & Stacey (when IS that back?!) stat! He's doing a "contemporary" version of Stand By Me. It's not contemporary at all, apart from when it merges with the Sean Kingston version which wasn't from a movie at all. It's very bland and he really can't cope with coming down from the big notes. Instead of holding his head to fix his vocal this week, he holds his chest. This type of voodoo witchcraft should be banned from the show :P Dannii is lovely and diplomatic and calls it nice, and Simon says he's out of his depth. This is true. His little legs are treading water like crazy.

JAMIE:
Yawn. I feel sorry for the person who had to sit behind him at A Christmas Carol. The only thing worse would be being behind Marge Simpson. There have been arguments between Simon and Jamie over song choice. Again. At first I thought maybe Simon has no idea what to do with Jamie, but then when he sings the very low bits of Crying and it's awful, it cuts to Simon's "oh fuck" face, I think he might have been right to reign Jamie in. The soaring chorus isn't too bad. Louis has a hissy fit because he doesn't know the movie and looks furious. Simon 'disses' Cheryl and dismissively calls her sweetheart which is brilliant because now she looks furious. This whole brief exchange is far more entertaining than Jamie could ever wish to be. Love it.
LUCIE:
I like the shade of blue of Dannii's scarf in the vt. Lucie is going to sing something from Camp Rock (why not Spectacular!?) which could be a bit dodge. Or it might work because there is a gentle wind machine and that's always a big plus. And it gets a lot better once she lets go of the microphone. Side bar your honour: Why do all the contestants wear poppies at crotch level? Just wear them normally! There is no shame in it! Anyway, I quite liked the performance, but wasn't blown away - I may rewatch because I think I would love it if I heard the song a few more times. (Edit: I did rewatch and it was rather lovely over all. More like this please. I love Lucie)...

DANYL:
His face when he got through last week showed he's proper cock again after the boo hoo me act he put on. Sigh. Oh Danyl, you are such a conundrum. He's doing Purple Rain which is going to be all about Danyl over ad-libbing and too long notes. ooo he's had a haircut and there's dry ice around his feet. The performance is what one would expect from Danyl - it's vocally very good and very him though a bit more restrained than normal. Oh, the audience are a bloody nightmare this week! This is, Simon has made this an international competition - he has no interest in acts that he thinks will only do well in the UK (ie, in his opinion Shayne and Leon). It's all about who he can make massive in America. In that respect, Danyl is probably his best bet for what he will class as a "winner" in the competition. And for his vocals, I'd probably check out his first release...
JEDWARD:
Well they don't half take their criticisms well without any of the drama of the other contestants. I'm hoping they have Slimer as part of their Ghostbusters number. Ooo there's a ghost. And they are in the GB car! They scream! And act as they runaway from ghouls! Brilliant! As I've said before they are the PJ and Duncan of the competition. And (ooo there's the marshmallow man, that will do nicely instead of Slimer!) I unashamedly lovely their weekly performances. Which doesn't mean I would buy a single from them, even if it is written by James Busted. (EDIT: It occurs to me that their shouty single style isn't a million miles away from future X Factor guests BEP's shouty singy style on the cacophony bits of their bewilderingly but ultimately winningly catchy I Gotta Feeling!)
JOE:
I've been on the fence about Joe. I feel if he wins there is something really wrong with this competition. I am not really sure why I feel like that, it's just a gnawing feeling in my tummy. It's actually the same with Jed but they are the ghastly entertainment highlight each week regardless of their awfulocity. They show the same clip twice in a row in his VT! Shocking! (EDIT: I'm about to eat these preceding words based on tonight's performance. And they taste good. Like chicken). Joe is singing Circle of Life and it will probably be my favourite performance of his as I'm a huge Disney lover. And I will vote for him to win, if he holds up a toy baby lion at the end. Oh, he doesn't but I love this performance and am appreciating Joe properly for the first time. It's my fave performance of his so far.

Bring on tomorrow. Until then, let's just enjoy this little pop gem...