Lopez Blogs

(As always, written up from notes during the show unless otherwise stated!!)

Is the world over the Jedward controversy yet? The real crime here is that the nation has found it acceptable to put together the names of twins in a way that is usually reserved for romantically linked couples! Crikey! Anyway, I know it still hurts deep down that lovely Lucie got booted off the show last week, but it's no worse than when Laura went last year (though let's face it, she really shouldn't have tried to play piano and sing. She's no multi tasker). And it's not like Simon ate a baby - and he could; he's a powerful hungry fella. Anyway, enough of these shenanighams, it's Queen week! Aka another week perfectly engineered for Simon's acts. For the record my two favourite Queen songs (Somebody To Love/Don't Stop Me Now) have already had some quite fine cover versions done (G4, Glee, Only Men Aloud/McFly respectively) so the contestants have quite a task ahead of them...

Oh, wait. Apparently the controversy isn't over yet. Clips of the news are shown. It's all very shocking, much more so than real new stories like war, famine, murder, global warming, etc. Then the remaining contestants are introduced because. It's Time. To Face. The Music. Dannii looks absolutely furious about being relegated to the end position. Simon waffles on about last week but I'm not really paying attention because I'm in the mood for a cereal and oh god, Jamie's first...

JAMIE:
Well done Jamie for wearing an AC/DC t-shirt when meeting Queen. Or half of them anyway. He's wearing that godawful scarf thing in his back pocket in the VT which makes me regurgitate a cruncy nut cornflake. He's doing Radio Gaga. Apparently it's all about making the song his own and not a Queen carbon copy. I literally beg the tv not to make him do the handclapping but he does. Because that differentiates his version doesn't it and really he should be concentrating on his wavering vocal. I'm also channelling Orlando from Ghost by yelling at the tv "Whaddya do to your hair" (oh Orlando do you like it, it's sunrise, etc). Amazingly and rudely someone shouts F*** Off when Dannii criticises the criticisable performance. Ooo it's 5 Star on Going Live all over again. It was really audible too! Shocking!
LLOYD:
Cheryl's hair is really chav in a Lauren from Catherine Tate/Pam Ann doing Easy Jet sort of way tonight. Just a "by the way" bit of info for you there. Having Lloyd follow Jamie is possibly the worst start to the show I can imagine. He's doing Crazy Little Thing Called Love and straight away he's clutching his chest through nerves or an impending heart attack or something! Louis is absolutely right - he would rock in a boyband where his inadequacies can be masked. I strangely like what Lloyd is wearing though it wouldn't suit me. Sweet Jesus, the song is still going on even after writing all that. It's not his worst performance ever, but it's not his best either. And I can't remember if he has a best. Check out McFly if you are in any doubt how this should be done! Dannii still looks absolutely fuming. I'm now worried about her. I think Lloyd has a bit of chocolate stuck on his eyebrow (Darren informs me it is glitter. oh). He has the makings of a new Eoghan Quigg with his "phone number" face...

OLLY:
There have already been 2 breaks! Ridiculo. Just as ridiculo is the fact that Olly has broken his little finger. On a punch bag. Words absolutely fail me. He's singing Don't Stop Me Now and the intro is a little iffy. Then he sort of stops singing to dance and joins back in mid sentence. Bizarre. And then he slides across the stage and nearly falls over. And some of his notes are really flat. So it's a bit of a catastrophe all told. Check out McFly if you are in any doubt about how this should be done (part 2)! Dannii nicely says it was a bit shit. Cheryl still thinks his dancing is phenomenal when actually it is only ok. I think her slicked back to within an inch of it's life hair is giving her brain ache. And once again, the crowd are utterly over stimulated.
JOE (ABOVE):
I'm ready to be bored by Joe again, though I really liked Circle of Life. Well, it does move us all. Brian May says "hello Joe" and it inspires me to launch into the talky bit in the Pink etc., version of Lady Marmalade (30 seconds in). Which nobody finds amusing except me. Oh bugger, he's doing Somebody To Love and I'm going to have to like bland Joe two weeks in a row. There is a caveat to that though - I like Joe in a great-contestant-for-a-musical-theatre-competition-show rather than an X Factor winner. Mark from theblogthatmarkwrote will be so disappointed in me because it's actually quite good. And yes, it's partially because I love this song. Strangely G4 did it in their sixth week too...
JEDWARD (BELOW):
We are forced to relive the deadlock from last week. Again. Which means reliving the moment that Lucies goes from being really confident to looking absolutely broken. Oh dear. Ooo they are doing Under Pressure which is lyrically appropriate and allows them to have a brief Ice Ice Baby interlude (surely against the rules Louis?!) It's all rather enjoyable actually. I'm over justifying it - they are what they are; enjoyable tosh. Dannii says they can't even rap in time which really amuses me. The hocked up on goofballs audience go mad for them and (as has been the case most the night) there is no point listening to the judges because you can't hear them. OH! REWIND! Apparently someone is on the stage right at the start mocking them, but it's so brief you can hardly see it (Edit: Apparently is top male vocalist Calvin Harris with a pineapple on. How impressive. How postmodern. How... yawn...) - it is quite funny though reliving JohnOrEdward nearly falling over when they leap through the paper though :) (Reliving their middle 8 - not so wonderful :/ )

STACEY (BELOW):
What else is there to say about Stacey other than she's always really charming and endearing in her VT and if anyone should forget momentarily why she is so adorable during the week, it all comes flooding back in the minute before she sings. She actually mentions that she thinks Queen week is more for Simon's acts. Way to channel Dannii's quite-right bitterness :) She looks stunning singing Who Wants To Live Forever amd delivers a controlled yet emotional vocal. Actually she really soars - it's a winners single type performance ie, immense. Lovely nervous giggle at the end. Simon basically says it was ace amd she remote high fives Dannii. Adorable and amazing.
DANYL:
Ah the THIRD time in 6 weeks that a Simon act has closed the show. And the SECOND time in 6 weeks that it has been Danyl. What a shocker. More clap trap about should he be cocky and arrogant, etc. Even doing We Are The Champions could be conceived as cocky. I do sort of like the cheeky look around the "mistakes, i've made a few" part. It's a weak start though, but then picks up somewhat. I don't like his voice in this song at all. If that makes any sense. Of course the judges are clearly hearing something different to me because they are love-wazzing their praise all over him. Oh :/

My top three: Stacey, Joe, Jedward
The bottom two: Lloyd and Jamie

Anyway, to wrap up I'm still grossly disappointed that Simon chose to ignore my sage advice and do the above still amazing Second Best To None hotel rival song as the group charity single for this year. Still there is method to the madness of choosing You Are Not Alone. Frankly any other year an MJ cover might not work, but this year obviously it will. The lyrics actually match the charity it's chosen for (which they often don't in other charity singles). And the cause is a great one - if you need any more reason to be inspired by Great Ormand Street Children's Hospital charity then just click this link. Wonderful work they do. So yes, Second Best To None would have been preferrable but this more than ticks the boxes. The group are performing it tonight on the show and i'll have my write up on the results in the comments later. Dear God, please vote for stacey!