Lopez Blogs

Can i start off with a "what the fuck?" Yes, it's true that the Apprentice (UK) is the finest reality show on tv right now. Yes it's true that Margaret (Sir Alan's right hand woman) may be the most scary and brilliant woman on tv (her put down of Edinburgh university was classic). And yes, it's true that the true stars of this series are the enthusiastic Lee McQueen and dotty dame Lucinda. But amongst all this brilliant, pervy old Nicholas (Sir Alan's left hand man) interrupted this week's task of selling top class wedding dresses (as team Lee/Lucinda had chosen) to announce "They are probably not right for here. This is Birmingham not Knightsbridge!!!" What a fucking liberty :P That is my absolute pet peeve about London. That it seems to breed a minority of people who think that London is the be all and end all of Britain, when in fact there is a vibrant, creative, electic, expensive wedding dress affording world not far beyond the M25 corridor. It's practically xenophobic! (Which isn't a fear of Xena Warrior Princess as I initially thought). Tsk Naughty Nick. Tsk indeed :P Anyway, despite not being able to sell a single cake at a wedding fair (perhaps telling the bride to be that her choices were dull and would ruin her day might not have helped), part time Jewish boy Michael is STILL in the competition. I have to agree with The Apprentice: You're Fired ~ he does seem the type to scream out his own name during sex. Yeucch. Anyway, Darren is backing Lucinda to win. I'm all about Lee. Anyone who still says "buzzing" and "that's what i'm tor-king about" without any hint of irony is a ok with me...

LINK: Check out the face off of the dudes over at brillo GaySpy. Let me know your choice!!

Let's pop over to mainland europe for a while to see what's going on with the Danish version of The X Factor (yes that is Infernal lead singer as one of the judges!) ~ I've only checked it out sporadically on youtube, but two acts stood out to me. One went home ridiculously early - that would be the boyband above called RaiDen. Not only do they have a name that resembles a brand of deodorant, but they are not particularly brilliant. And perhaps that's why I slightly adore them. They look good, they sound ok-ish and they rock the black suit look. Check out their cheesetastic version of Tragedy here - you can almost sense them trying NOT to do the Steps moves :P Le sigh ~ let's hope popjustice doesn't get hold of them. They rip young boys dreams apart without a second thought!

Meanwhile, the other act went all the way and bloody won the thing. Far surpassing David Archuleta in terms of adorability is young Martin, who frankly almost (but not quite) reaches Same Difference levels of fluffiness. And what a winner's song he has been given. Show The Whole World would never be given to a winner in Britain because a) it's not a ballad b) it's a funky 70s disco tube c) it's got a proper video to it and d) it actually mirrors the style and talent that the artist showed throughout the competition. Bloody hell - imagine that. It's like Girls Aloud getting Sound Of The Underground all over again. Viva Martin :P

Finally, I pretty much ignored Britain's Got Talent last year - too many children singing and fat opera dudes. In fact the singing aspect of it bugs me a little bit. There are plenty of music shows to get your vocal chords out. Leave BGT to the freaks (double jointed contortionists) and geeks (a guy playing a surprisingly beautiful melody on the guitar, but oh so bloody humourless). However, amongst all the dross and jugglers, every so often something pops up that is so magical, so unbelievable and so whimsical it should be on Pushing Daisies. It's good-bad brilliant, if you see what I mean. Oh just watch the clip above. Hoop La La! You want to cringe at first, but then it's kind of brilliantly entertaining - and at the very very least it made me grin like a cheshire cat :P

Coming next week: all the good season finales (except Lost!) and my take on the very few new shows that look worth my while (Joss Whedon and JJ Abrams take a bow)...