Lopez Blogs

Cheers, Jeers, Beers and Queers

(note: I don’t particularly like that last word, but it rhymes…)

(top - Darren H, middle - Dragonette, bottom - Wicked)

Hello everyone. Here is a small report from London Pride 2007. In lovely bullet point form of course…

• Darren and I once again took far too many clothes for a 24 hour visit, but it’s always nice to have options I say…
• The drive down was quite pleasant despite the driving rain. I decided to give a few pop cds a whirl. I put on Robyn’s latest album, but sadly it got taken off after track three. Perhaps cos we were in the mood for something we knew and could both sing a long to…
• So then we put the Spice Girls greatest hits on (home made compilation of course) and tried to spice up our lives with the old “classics”. Darren and I both were a little “meh” and thought the music hadn’t aged well!
• The new Click Five album got a whirl, and I still think it is rather good. It’s no Greetings… but it is much better than anticipated.
• Luckily, we got into London just as we were belting out a transvision vamp song. Darren sounded quite good doing the scream at the beginning hoho!
• It is ALWAYS bloody lovely to see Simon and Mark. Honestly, we love them so much and ultimately, they made pride a lot of fun and very amazing for us…
• … even if they were still in pyjamas when we got there at noon. How very lazy indeed. The toilet had been cleaned apparently, but the sink still needed doing. One can always rely on Mark to dish out random bits of information!
• The four of us braved the rain to go and look around the stalls in Soho. At one point I saw Stefan from Switch22 in Soho Square looking all greased up and naked talking to Andi Peters. As you do…
• … I didn’t want to butt in and say hello so I texted that I had seen him in Soho naked and called him an old whore. Ah, I’m sure he appreciates my candor :P
• Mark (Again!) is a whore for the free stuff from the stands. I kept getting offered free condom and lube just seconds after it had been thrusted upon Darren so I just said I would share his. I think they took it the wrong way and gave me a safe sex leaflet. I am now fully aware of the horrors of syphilis. How it hurts to take a piss…
• I did sign the pledge for earth petition to get a free Hessian enviro friendly bag. I put the one thing that I don’t do that I should is use a 30 degree wash in the washing machine instead of forty. When asked why I didn’t use it, I replied honestly that I didn’t know what letter to programme into the machine. Well honestly, she looked at me like I had stabbed a puppy in the eye with a blunt stick and practically hissed when she thrust the free bag reluctantly at me! Let’s hope DanP76 doesn’t tell her about the two cars…
• Still the police were quite chatty.
• The concert in the square was quite good – the mayor Ken Livingstone gave a really inspiring speech that made me want to go out and wear pink hotpants more often.
• I only saw Darren Hayes and Dragonette live (I missed Kerry Ellis from Wicked, dammit!) – both were very enthusiastic and proud, but the sound was abominable, so I couldn’t tell whether they were really any good or not. I am assuming they were uniformly excellent.
• The four of us were joined by one of Mark’s triplets, Steph for stuffed crust cheese pizza which was nice. Steph is tiny, hilarious and totally should be a contestant on Big Brother.
• It was absolutely pissing down out by then and an umbrella really didn’t go with my outfit, so we were all soaked. The line for G-A-Y bar was insanely massive so the five of us dodged into some cute little bar round the corner, and in a potentially sliding doors moment, it utterly made our night….
• …All five of us (later joined by Fastest Finger Melanie) spent about 3 hours drinking, talking, laughing, posing for stupid photos, having fun, staying dry and sharing a marguerita between us all. It really made me think – you know this is what pride should be about… feeling totally comfortable whatever your surroundings, hanging out with good friends and sharing memories and thoughts. It was one of those picture perfect moments that will forever be emblazoned in my brain…
• Later Darren and I got our first taste of G-A-Y the club (bless you q-jumper passes) and despite it looking quite dark and dingey inside, was an awful lot of fun. The theme was icons, so all the music was very danceable, except Amy Winehouse Rehab thrown inbetween Steps and Cher, didn’t really work…
• Darren soon discovered the stage and was prancing around like a mad man infront on the fan. It blew up his white shirt, which instead of pulling it down, he proceeded to pretend he was Marilyn MAN-roe over the subway grate in front of the entire club. Many people were as mortified as I was, but he kept doing it with such wild abandon that in the end, it became really funny. Then it got too much, and I had to tempt him off stage with a lager, the same way you get the dog to stop gnawing your shoes by chucking some corned beef at it!
• Because we are clearly anti-social we left before Simon and Markalicious, which is when we learnt 3 key facts about London:
1. You can always get greasy post club food no matter where you are. How edible it is is another matter…
2. Unless you are a leggy blond (which I am not) it is FUCKING IMPOSSIBLE to get a cab late on a Saturday night/early Sunday morning…
3. Tubes stop running ridiculously early and night buses are the transportation of the damned…