Lopez Blogs

It’s late 2008 and thanks to using a time machine (like the one in a film i seen), I’m sitting on the leather couch in a Las Vegas hotel suite where Stefan D’Bart and Swany, better known as Switch22, have just finished their US tour supporting Jamie Lynn Spears. In Britain of course, they had a headlining tour early in 2008 following the success of their debut album We Put The ‘S’ In Action and four top ten singles. As scantily clad male waiters attend to my every whim (those S22 boys know how to treat the press), I sit back sipping my champagne and begin to gently probe the boys about the whirlwind year behind them. Here are some their highlights...

The Brits 2008

Swany “What a great night that was – having Canon and Ball join us for Back To The Dancefloor was amazing. And we won so many awards. I think best female vocalist was the biggest shock. Of course we had gone by then as the episode of How To Look Good Naked (tip – lots of lotion) that Stefan was in, was on Channel 4, and our royalties hadn’t kicked in then, so we didn’t have Sky Plus...”

The singles

SDB “Yeah it was amazing when Back To The Dancefloor got to number one because the video was banned by four music channels! Madonna has done a lot worse, but the publicity helped us a lot. 1985 was a great song, and having Adam Ant duet with us on the Charlotte Church Show was groovy, though his breath stank of onions. We should have snogged Charlotte and not him. Electric Girl had loads of our female fans join us on stage at the Royal Variety Show – from 8 to 80 and even ages outside of those cos we don’t like to discriminate. I’m pretty sure I saw the Queen bopping along. We are really proud of all our songs because we put our whole effort into everything and if it’s not good it doesn’t get released. Which is what we told Paris Hilton when she got her second jail term last month.”

That tour

Swany “hahaha, yeah Victoria Newton in the sun said our tour was hedonistic and should be avoided, and then she gave it a great review! We just thought the bigger the better so put in lots of star wars fight scenes, Chinese martial arts, some Shakespeare and of course us singing our little hearts out. We opened it with Back To The Dancefloor and ended it with 1985. Fans loved the Shakespeare soliloquy by Stefan when he did a scene from Hamlet in the day you gave up on me, with the ninjas dancing in the background, and that boy on the front row that got a nunchuck in his eye is recovering nicely”

The headlines

SDB: “Bloody hell, yeah – ‘Stefan in love romp with Ziggy and Chanelle’; Swany leaves S22 for skateboarding movie’ and my favourite ‘Swany’s pop in karate attack’ where the star reckoned he had karate chopped the hand off of a photographer and we had to go and bail him out of the clink. It was untrue – he drop kicked him, the karate chopped his windpipe. As for the others – i can’t confirm or deny anything...”

The future

Both: “We are recording our video for milf tonight at Ceasars Palace and we have lots of sexy moms featuring including Joan Rivers, Sharon Osbourne, Britney spears (now the facial tattoo has been removed) and that dude that was the first man to give birth last month. It’s gonna have a gladiator theme too as the moms wrestle it out to win some Swany and Stefan love. Our money is on Joan Rivers...”