Lopez Blogs

In a week where i've been compared to Sue Heck (The Middle), the Hallowe'en theme is bound to work my last nerve, so I'm going to put my fizzypop alternative contestant choices right at the top this week. And kicking it all off with a rather glorious interpretation to remind you of how grand they are - it's Princes and Rogues! Above is a little video breakdown of Relax by Frankie Goes To Hollywood. Totally different interpretation, loving the Bohemian Rhapsody formation, the harmonies and the perfectly synced head turns. Genius. That's why the continue to be part of this fun little feature. Here's what I picked this week...

• Princes & Rogues ~ This Is Hallowe'en (from Nightmare Before Christmas)
• Elouise ~ Love Song For A Vampire (Annie Lennox)
• Simon Curtis ~ Touch A Touch A Touch Me (From Rocky Horror)

More next week from them - now on with the show...

• THE INTRO ~ Dermot is in a waistcoast (vest for Americans). This is very good news indeed because I do like a nice waistcoat on a fella. The judges walk on to Thriller. Dannii looks ravishing in red. Cheryl's Split End has cleared right up - obviously L'Oreal (because she's worth it) sent over some deep root nourishing shampoo and conditioner (see I can be fair!) Though her skirt looks like the ruffle I put round my Christmas tree...
• MARY ~ Even if you take into consideration the Take That version of Could It Be Magic, the song is a good 18 years old. I see she's sticking with the Joan Ferguson haircut but added some Steps-esque Better The Devil You Know type horns. Festive. I think Mary generally knows the words, she just chooses to sing them in her own order. This means there is no childish smirk factor as she omits the classic "could it be magic come" line. Sadness. It's very dramatic and quite good, but it's no Rapino Bros remix. (Louis kind of looks like the puppet on the tricycle from the Saw films tonight)... SHOULD'VE DONE: Shakira's She Wolf with leotard and requisite wolf howls. Ow-ooooo"
• AIDEN ~ Aiden really needs to do something marvelous this week to make me reconnect with him. And so he doesn't look like he's actually home in his bedroom pleasuring himself to bad Twilight fanfiction. He's doing the Imogen Heap version of Thriller and doing it incredibly tensely. Even though his "woo" and "wiggle" with Dermot last week were very cringy, I am still just willing him to bust out the disco and do some Thriller dance moves. Le sigh. I always feel like I need a valium after seeing him sing. His guyliner is actually set to racoon. (He does the thriller dance for two seconds with Dermot, and on reflection he shouldn't do it at all. Ever). SHOULD'VE DONE: Jace Everett's Bad Things...
• BELLE AMIE ~ How they weren't in the bottom two last week is beyond me. The most interesting thing about their VT is the quick flash of finely sculpted male flesh. They are doing Venus - presumably because Bananarama did a video to accompany their version which could be loosely linked to Hallowe'en, I suppose. Sheesh. The vocals are dreadful to start with, get marginally better but at least they have really mastered standing and walking in a rigid line together. bravo girls, slow clap. It wasn't great. SHOULD'VE DONE: All*Stars Things That Go Bump In The Night (and remind us all of how cute Sam Bloom was)...

• REBECCA ~ She's wearing a pilgrim's hat in the VT. Or Elphabas. It seems like she is going for a nice emotive ballad for a change. You know, just to spice it up. She actually looks marvelous on stage though and does Chris Isaak's Wicked Game. Tenuous theme link and I should also moan about her doing a slow song again. However, she absolutely captures the spirit of hallowe'en by giving an utterly spellbinding performance. It was delightful. Cheryl's ruffle loves her but I still can't work out why The Tweed is wearing a badminton net as a top. This is why Dannii has the M&S deal and she's stuck with shampoo. SHOULD'VE SUNG: Bewitched, Bothered & Bewildered - History Boys Version...
• TREYC ~ She was Scared Trekless at being in the bottom two last week. She's back though and ditching the rock for pop. She promises to put blood, sweat and tears into her performance, which taken literally is incredibly repulsive. She looks like Sinitta in a hoody (which means she wouldn't be allowed in my local Tescos, or if she had more than 3 school children with her!) and does that Hallowe'en staple, Relight My Fire (because of the devil horns on tour, I'm presuming. I'm too enraged to go into why this is shoddy choosemanship!)(Plus these choices are really buggering up the potential for Take That week). Um ok. It's fine, much better towards the end. Dannii questions whether she has a signature sound or not. Simon disses Cheryl's Ruffle and the two have a row. Trek answers Dannii back. It's feisty. Dannii and Cheryl's Badminton net fume through the break. SHOULD'VE DONE: Hocus Pocus version of I've Put A Spell On You...
• MATT ~ I'm sure Dannii introduces him as Matt Hardon. I don't argue. Some girls in the VT scream "be my boyfriend, I'm from Essex" as if geographical location is all one looks for in a date/shagbuddy. He's doing Bleeding Love and i've given up on judging how songs are linked to the theme. Because periods are terrifying for young teenage girls?! It's nice to see him have a song with a beat, but it's fairly obvious he's not having a good moment. He does deliver a brilliant note just as the light shines behind him and this just about pulls it back together. I think he broke a blood vessel in his eye though. Ouch. Matt does the praying hands thank you a lot throughout his shoulder bumping hug time with the Derm. SHOULD'VE DONE: The Automatic's Monster, acoustic styl-ee...
• WAGNER ~ Louis says Wag0Nur again. Christ Alive. His pronunciation is as ridiculous as the judges bitchiness this week. There is allegedly a (sit on your) facebook campaign to get him to win the show. This is as absolutely ludicrous as trying to Family Guy's Bird Is The Word to the Christmas number one. He has borrowed Paije's redcoat jacket and Matt's burst bloodvessel eye. Lovely. He does a bit of Carmin Burina and Bat Out Of Hell. Neither well. It's on a par with Jedward's Ghostbusters from last year. He also has his guyliner set on racoon. Speechless. Dannii quotes Kath & Kim and saves the last three minutes of my life from being a total waste of time! SHOULD'VE DONE: Most probably Monster Mash or The Tubes Attack of the 50ft Woman. Who knows?!

• PAIJE ~ Zzzz. Oh sorry. Dropped off. The real terror this week will be what on earth Paije is wearing. I am warming to his starjumps in his VT however. I actually refuse to acknowledge Back To Black as a hallowe'en song so technically this fairly dull performance shouldn't even be allowed. He's this year's little aussie battler (been battling all his life, you can't stop progress, etc) and so the script says that the judges should love him. Ooo it's my shortest review this week. SHOULD'VE DONE: Defying Gravity from Wicked/Idina Menzel, all green paint, the whole shebang...
• KATIE ~ On reflection, apart from some flapping around the stage, her performance vocally didn't have a lot going on. She wears a massive muff in her VT and the script has now decided she is quirky. This terrifies me more than whatever non theme song she sings. Which i think is the Bewitched theme tune?! Dressed as The Corpse Bride mixed with Glenn Close in 101/2 Dalmatians. At this rate she will be doing I'm Going Bananas by Madonna in a few weeks. Louis is glad people identify with her talent (ie not her non-winnig personality then, though she is most natural with Dermot). STOP COMPARING HER TO GWEN STEFANI! She is not Gwen Stefani - she would never pull off a sterling failure to be the next madonna is not an option performance of What You Waiting For. SHOULD'VE DONE: Lady Gaga's Monster...
• ONE DIRECTION ~ Liam hurts his leg this week. And got his hair lightened. Harry looks increasingly like one of The Wanted. None of these salient facts are mentioned but may be in the dvd extras! I totally despair as to why Total Eclipse of the Heart (unless Eclipse = Twilight) is Hallowe'en (but then neither is my choice other than the video imagery so now I'm hypocritical). It's a perfectly nice Westlife version with a few dodgy harmonies. Probably my least fave performance of theirs, but thank god and hallelujah - Zain got in a decent note at the end. Chuffing heck. Sue Heck. Still find them entirely adorable and they will be here next week, SHOULD'VE DONE: Backstreet Boys' Backstreet's Back of course...
• CHER(YL) ~ This will either destroy Cher(yl) or have twitter spaffing up their love chuff over how magnificent it is. I'll tell you in a minute which. They sadly choose not to show her being booed at the Tinnie Tempah gig but do play Fight For This Love incase you forget that Cheryl's Badminton Net is a relevant popstar too, despite that shoddy Promise Me performance. It's Shakespear's Sister and Stay. Which honestly, only French & Saunders should do as a cover. Parts of it do work incredibly well, though she does shy away from the tougher notes. She cries at the end, with that old beauty pageant trick of stabbing herself with a bobby pin. Well played! Simon thinks it was incredible and the song of the series which means Twitter is ejaculating praise and glory on this performance as I write. I liked it. I've seen better...SHOULD'VE DONE: Probably this, i begrudgingly admit. Why have I gone from loving her so to being so irritated by her that even good performances put me off? Anyone?!

Fave 3 ~ Rebecca, Matt, Mary
Bottom 2 ~ Belle Amie & Wagner...