Lopez Blogs

There will be one million and twenty three blogs (i'm approximating) today that will quite rightly write about the new Lady Gaga single, Born This Way. She's probably one of the biggest pop stars in the universe at the moment and thus, any new single from her is a bit of an event. Lots of people far more clever than me will be extolling it's virtues or telling us why it's Express Yourself 2011. I do quite like it - it's a grower rather than a show-er; a plinky plonky 70s inspired disco tune rather than perhaps the more instant and miraculous Bad Romance. It's a song for the outsiders and I suspect that it will make a lot more sense after she's performed it at the Grammys on Sunday, most likely dressed in an outfit made out of the vomit of blind tibetan monks, sewed together by fingerless, vow of silence nuns. Or something.

So do, by all means, enjoy Born This Way. However - here's an alternative track that might get your juices flowing just as much. MAYBE MORE!! Back in 2006/07, young Simon Curtis (prior to his robot army days, perhaps we were all just alter boys with him back then) put a song together as part of the "create a theme for Popjustice competition). He took the deliriously feelgood, swirling xenomania instrumental and crafted his lyrics around the incessant groove bestowed upon him. This tune ultimately became Put Your Makeup On and remains my joint all time favourite Simon song (along with the brillopants Diablo). It may not be as obvious in it's intent, but for all purposes it pre-dates la Gaga song by a good four years. It was about being accepted for who you are, about pop music being a brilliant genre regardless of how it's perceived, about being born this way (see sample lyric: "little girls know what to do, by the time that they are two, playing dress up in the make up of a mother/what's a mother gonna do, when she walks into the room, and she finds herself not a daughter but the brother"). It's littered with timely (at the time of creation) pop references - a trick Simon has continued with some of his more recent songs - and a brilliant outro that basically (i'm paraphrasing) tells the world to fuck off if you don't like pop music because nothing else is quite as giddy and magnificent on the dancefloor. And this is essentially true - Halfway Round The World (Almighty Mix) by A*teens still gets me in a whirling dervish on a Saturday night.

My advice to Simon - get this track on iTunes right now, get your robot army to purchase it in the droidloads and get a genuine bonafide smash :) Hurrah, etc.