Lopez Blogs

I have fallen and fallen hard for ace BBC sitcom Miranda. I don't know why it has taken me so long to find out about it (shame on me), but i've whizzed through two series and am now investigating the radio version that started it all. Basically for those not in the know, it's essentially a better, UK version of Ellen (the comedy, not the chat show or that The Ellen Show debacle that aired several years ago) set in the kitchen set of Absolutely Fabulous and involving many madcap antics of the 6ft1 Miranda and her zany bunch of mad cap friends (which includes the perfectly delicious Tom Ellis as Gary, the love interest). Basically the mad cap friends are very much like my ace gang with their own sayings (they have "tremendulent", we have "brillopants" and "smasherooney ding dong"); Miranda has an insane mother (see examples below for my dear old mam) and has many many moments of social mortification. Not in that slyly observed socially awkward way, more of a make a total pillock of yourself sort of way. I've always identified with Pam from Gavin & Stacey as my sitcom double (she has a ridiculous flair for the dramatic, as do I) but Miranda definitely mirrors my ability to take a normal social situation and come out of it with egg on my face. Sometimes absolutely literally. SUCH FUN!

• Miranda's crazy mom may be my crazy mom ~ case in point: My mom called the other day "Paul, the gays are growing!" (insert stunned bemused silence from me here) "Yes, I read a report about it. They are everywhere." me ~ "Oh that's lovely mom. What do you mean growing?" Her (completely ignoring my question which both her and my dad tend to do, as if diverting from their conversational flow will completely ruin their life) ~ "My hairdresser is one you know. Do you know him?" Me (a bit aghast) ~ "Oh yes, we all hunt in packs. Perfectly manicured, well groomed packs..." Christ alive.
• Moments of social ineptitude ~ I was once waiting to see History Boys outside a theatre near my house. It was incredibly windy and I was waiting for my bon ami ace ganger Kirsty to arrive. Just as she came dashing up, a huge gust of wind blew a huge bin bag (garbage sack, mes americanos) into my face, which preceded to wrap around my head. Cue me flailing around like a loon on loon tablets at a loon convention. Not good...
• Moments of social ineptitude ~ just last week on the train, i somehow managed to sit on a half eaten cadbury's creme egg. Not mine either. What was worse was I didn't notice the melted brown egg bottom and gooey centre stuck to my bottomosity until I got home, having walked through Birmingham city centre at rush hour looking like i'd messed myself. For God's sake!!!
• More moments of social ineptitude ~ Miranda often gets called Sir. As do I actually. But I often get called other stuff too. I was hurridly trotting to the train station one morning (Miranda gallops, but i find a trot more elegant or a canter if i'm really in a hurry), when some white van fellas (one quite dishy) shouted out alpha male styl-ee "oi Bruno" and guffawed loudly to themselves. I was so taken aback at their comment, that I lost my rhythm, tripped on the kerb and went flying onto the pavement. My book I was reading at the time (with a fetching pink cover) went skidding out of my man bag and sailing across the street. Bruno indeed :(
• Getting the cosmic horn ~ Miranda clearly has the horn for Tom Ellis' character Gary. I do too. He is the only person apart from possibly Donal Skehan who makes chef whites look quite foxy. I too would fall off a stool if he came up to me with a batch of creamy meringues. The horn makes you do bizarre things. Early on in my courtship of Darren, I was asked "Is darren coming over tonight?" Lost in my dreamworld of dreamy dream boat ness, I absently mindedly replied "I'd rather him cum on my face"... FORGETTING IT WAS MY DAD I WAS WITH. Swallow me now (darren) hole in ground!!
• Knowing looks to the camera ~ while I didn't invent this, neither did Miranda. See video below!!