Lopez Blogs

Sigh. It almost seems like it's a forgone conclusion that the lovely Stacey won't win this year. It's most likely to be Joe. This will be the fourth out of six years that my act hasn't one. Still, Stacey in the top 3 is pretty amazing and who knows what 4 hours (!) of X Factor over the next two nights holds! And indeed, my fave X Factor act ever, Same Difference, have done pretty well despite the knocks the industry have given. They have a revamped version of Pop out in 2010 as well as a brand new album. While I avoid the Cheryl (Lump of) Cole hour at 6.30pm, I'll catch up on SD recently turning on the lights somewhere and singing the elegant Better Love Me. Loving Sean's jacket btw...

THE X FACTOR WINNER'S SONG:

I was unconvinced about the rumours of Miley Cyrus' The Climb being the winner's song. However, it appears for now that it is likely to be that tune and I've made my peace with that. It's pretty much made for Joe and Stacey, though I suspect the arrangement will be quite similar to Australian Idol Stan Walker's (what THE Mr Karen Walker?!) version. It's no shocker that the song has been featured on an Idol/X Factor around the world before. Simon just loves to pillage those tunes. How about a quick looksie back at the (real) X Factor winner's songs from the past 5 series (and see if any of them measure up to the standard of winner pop set by Girls Aloud in 2002)...

1. 2004 - G4, Circle of Life: Yes, yes Steve Brookstein won but that was about as exciting as Joe winning this year. Let's focus instead on the posh toffs who had a much longer career and would have had a quite delightful first single with the Lion King classic. Jonathan just isn't the same on his own...
2. 2005 - Shayne Ward, That's My Goal: Nowhere near as groundbreaking as SOTU, this was the only original winners song to ever feature in the show and it was a corker; big ballad, trite lyrics that seem quite acceptable in the context of the show, a soaring chorus and brilliant key change. Shayne's career is the one that had the most potential and the one most sadly derailed by Leona's success. Darn it. Bring on the album in 2010...
3. 2006 - Leona Lewis, A Moment Like This: Hardly worth mentioning it was such a lazy lazy choice. Originally the winners tune for Kelly Clarkson on the inaugural American Idol, it was trotted out here as if people hadn't heard it. Not that Leona sang it badly (far from it), it's just that ANYTHING else would have been preferrable...
4. 2007 - Same Difference, When You Believe: I quite enjoyed Leon's first album, very pleasant but he didn't have that sparkle and pizzazzle for me. Oh well. Had Same Diff won and sung this song, followed by 3 or 4 choice cuts from Pop! in quick succession, they would probably be tween darlings today. They will be yet. Not an amazing pick for winners single though. Again. Sigh.
5. 2008 - JLS, Hallelujah: At least they got to sing it in the final before they went on to conquer England with their brand of cool meets cheese pop. Alexandra did a pretty good job (snot withstanding) also. Not surprisingly it had popped up on Swedish Idol in 2007 and American Idol in 2008. Still, not a hideous choice...
6. 2009 - my 3 choices instead of The Climb/Don't Stop Believing: Benny Andersson Band's Story Of A Heart; Delta Goodrem's Born To Try; Agnes Carlsson, Right Here Right Now...

Tomorrow... Idol/X Factor winners songs from around the world. Now on with the show!! That Cheryl Cole thing is mercifully nearly over (though I did see her doing some ballroom dancing which was quite nice to a song that was essentially a slower version of Beat Again - Parachute maybe?) and the excitement in the room is palpable. That is more to do with the fact that the Iceland party food is done and I'm jolly hungry. Ooo voice over man says only one can win a life changing recording contract. That is fine if you are Leona, Alexandra or (to a lesser extent) Shayne. But what about the Leons, Steves, Michelles and David Sneddons of this world? It didn't get them very far! Dermot comes on, shouts at us and does his regular as clockwork spinny thing. Dear god, Cheryl is dressed as a mermaid prostitute this week. Lovely. Ariel will be properly miffed. Dear god, part two - Joe even dresses boring. He is school trousers and a plain shirt. He is dressed like Roy Cropper so that bodes well for his pop career...

STACEY:
Dannii has been to Dagenham (but she's never been to me) this week. She tries to make it sound glamourous but fails. My god, the VT is insanely long this week. It even has it's own party poppers. ARGGH! A ginger cat has just brushed passed me. This is not good. I am seriously scared of pussies. Back to Stacey! The VT is still on! Oh no, she's singing and it's What A Wonderful World (our host Justin shouts, "oi, who's that" from the kitchen which doesn't really dignify an answer!!) She's flawless and mesmerising and looks more relaxed than she has done in ages. Aw, Dannii is all emotional - don't start love, you'll set me off! Blimey! Stacey fancies Jeff Brazier. Well they would probably have really attractive but hyper kids.
OLLY:
Gosh, I just don't think I have the patience to sit through Olly's VT. But I will just to chortle at how unattractive he looked crying at last week's semi (final, not semi hard on. My!) Simon disses the parent's food which to be fair did look like runny shit. It's back to Superstitious for Olly and his "trademark" dance moves which I either hate or love depending on how drunk I am. He slides under some girls legs but misjudges and totally headbuts an errant bit of 'clunge' on the way "in". I find this utterly hilariou. I quite like it over all, though only because it reminds me of a subpar version of Will Young's Your Game (one of my fave songs of the 00s)...
JOE:
He goes back to his old school, which is useful because he's dressed for it tonight. The assembly seems to be populated by dinner ladies. I hope he's not going to sing Dance Wiv Me Farva which means he totally will. He does. Hardly riveting stuff (shit, the cat's eyeing me up), though I do wonder how his dad (alive) feels about him singing about a dead dad (lots of other auditionees). Just a bit dull really though would be quite lovely in a theatrical setting. Cheryl obviously poked herself in the eye while he was singing so she could rival Dannii's emotions. I love how Joe practically forces Dermot into hugging him and then practically dry humps him on the way off stage. Oh to be a fly on their dressing room wall!!

STACEY/MICHAEL BUBLE:
Her duet (Feeling Good) dress is rather sparkly. The lower register of her voice is gorgeous and she looks ecstatic. Oh Michael's still a bit dishy. They look smashing side by side and it's an absolutely amazing performance. Quite stunning. And she managed to get through it looking like she had loads of fun - not like that still annoying fake-awe Alexandra-Beyonce fiasco last year. So yes, out of this world performance, her best ever and quite easily the most magnificent performance of the series. My winner's single has just been performed and I love it!
OLLY/ROBBIE WILLIAMS:
I love the Rob but I'm ever so sick of bloody Angels. Simon looks well smug. Horrible edit of the song too. And Robbie buggers it up totally when he comes in. What is wrong with him lately?! It's all a bit homo-erotic too with them gazing lovingly at each other during the duet bits. Sadly Robbie's voice puts Olly's to shame but they still have a love-in towards the end. First Joe and Dermot, now Olly and Robbie. It's like a porn-you-don't-want-to-see marathon! Nowhere near as good as Stacey and it would be nice if Robbie did a decent X Factor performance...
JOE/GEORGE MICHAEL:
God, it's just like watching repeats with Joe. He's doing "Don't Let Your Son Go Down On Me" as it's christened here. Again. And there is some weird Armageddon-exploding sun thing going on in the background. George looks like he'll be having handbags at dawn with Dermot over Joe (who is doing the annoying fake-awe face. Must be on instructions from Cheryl). The harmonies were quite nice though. Rather brilliantly, George flirtily states that he thinks Joe rose to the occassion. I'm speechless.

STACEY:
It's Who Wants To Live Forever which was the song that really made me see Stacey as more than my favourite contestant and more of a winner capable of enormous performances. She's absolutely done an amazing job tonight - improving on excellence with each number. I love her and Dannii's relationship too :)
OLLY:
It's probably wise he did the razzamatazzy Fool In Love - it suits him lot better. He seems more comfortable with the performance too. It's quite good. He does look like he has the potential to put on a lot of weight and get a bit Elvis-sweaty when he's older, particularly in that badly fitted jacket.
JOE:
3 ballads in a row, and 2 Elton songs (Sorry Seems To Be...). This album's going to be a real corker isn't it? Beautiful voice but wrong arena for it. Oh! He's got a proper boy camel toe! Look! How mortifying. I don't really know what else to say about Joe. Though I think he looks like Nagini from Harry Potter.

* Robbie's You Know Me performance redeems his previous X-Factor track record. The "shall we 'ave a bit of a dance' moment is cheap and horribly pub singer-ish.
* 3 become 2 (which means tomorrow will be the night when 2 become 1) after the break. I'm terrified. Mainly because Bernice is simulating tea-bagging with 2 stuffed reindeer. Oh the depravity.
* Here it is... oh I don't think I have the energy to complete this epic X Factor mission if Stacey isn't in the top 2. And she isn't :( She did herself proud tonight. She's still my x factor winner for this year. And my 3rd fave X Factor contestant ever (after Same Diff and Shayne)...

SUNDAY 13th DECEMBER - THE FINAL PART TWO:

Bloody nora, it's on for two hours again tonight. Two very long hours. I'm not sure how i'm going to structure this because there will be so much filler (and apparently Madonna!) I've not done this live before straight to the computer so it could all be crap. Feel free not to read this shit :) Dermot has exactly the same outfit on as last night (I think) - I hope at least that it has been dry cleaned and that he has sprayed some Lynx on. Nice to see that Cheryl is dressed for a funeral, the black widow. Probably for whoever the dead dad is in Dance With My Father. OOO! The X Factor final twelve are copying Shameless and doing Never Forget complete with baby photos. I think Lloyd looks like he has a bit of plastic surgery. And I completely forgot about Miss Frank! Jedward are back! Oh those adorable little ragamuffins. Olly has now converted Joe for his mormon baptism as they come out bromancing each other in white. It wasn't quite the epic performance it could have been. Probably best to stick with Shameless.

OLLY:
He is singing Twist and Shout. The Ferris Bueller version! Simon clearly hates him with a fiery vengence (after giving him the goodbye speech last night) and has no clue what to do with him tonight as the show is geared towards Joe winning. He's shimmying around the stage like a constipated moose with the most dated song in ages. It's another opportunity to show what a "quirky" dancer he is (i'm entirely sober tonight) and I feel like I'm watching a 50s talent show only with more neon. I still think I'd like Olly to win though if only so Simon can find him something as wonderful as Will Young's Your Game to sing. I wish Louis would stop telling Olly he is sexy, it's a bit rapey. AND! How many bloody times has Olly worn that white shirt with the weird buttons on the collar!! Every freaking week! (Shut up audience!)
JOE:
What is most important about Joe's performance of Don't Stop Believing is that UK people should be watching Glee on E4 on Tuesday (especially you Simon ampersand Mark; and Mark blogthatmarkwrote) for a far superior version and really a rollicking good time. I suppose I should be grateful that it is not a ballad and not an Elton John penned song. What I am disappointed about is that this isn't Circle of Life, which was what made me temporarily like Joe. Oh, look, let's admit it - I do like Joe, but he's not the winner of this show for me and i'm just being bitter and twisted that he's done so well for a theatre auditionee lost on the way to High School Musical 3: The Stage Tour auditions. Why, why, why must Joe dress like someone's boss at work. I actually think I have that suit. Louis says Joe is what this show is all about. I am clearly unclear on the rules of the show!


JLS/ALEXANDRA:
Oh ok this has the potential to be amazing. JLS are singing Bad Boy and I am falling in love with Marvin all over again! I like the subtle "we're the bad boys always catching your eye" change (ie as subtle as a sledge hammer)! Blimey a year's training doesn't half make a difference. Their performances are miles slicker than the finalists. Alexandra is singing Bad Boy with JLS doing some funky dancing. OH (what's occuring) I am bloody loving this. It has sort of not very seamlessly merged into Everybody in Love, but it's not the grace of the edited together 2 songs - it's the amazingness of this XFactor mega group. Seriously, this is far better than anything anyone has performed as guests on the show so far this year :) Imagine a whole album of this - how bloody marvelous would that be? Ok I'm a bit over stimulated but that was ace! And i've finally forgiven Alexandra for the snotty crying last year!
LEONA LEWIS:
I do love a bit of Stop Crying Your Heart Out and it's place as "unofficial tide over" single from her Echo album. It's a rather lovely song and every bit as epic as Run was last Christmas. However, coming after the megaosity that was JLS-Alex, it all seems a tiny bit of a comedown until she gets through the middle eight and knocks that soaring final part out of the ballpark. It really is quite a brilliant number. No wonder Simon keeps forcing it on his acts (namely Rowetta)! Who next? Steve and Leon duet?!


OLLY ~ THE CLIMB:
Remember when the Pop Idol winner's song was totally geared towards Gareth Gates and not at Will Young at all? It's the same with The Climb - it's completely chosen for Joe and not for Olly, and for that reason alone I hope that Olly makes something brilliant out of it. So far I'm disappointed. It's nice enough though and he has the good grace to look slightly embarrassed singing it (though that could be the constipation or nerves). Nice (but predictable) key change. He should have Stan Walker'd it a bit though (see above)...
JOE ~ THE CLIMB:
God I'm so bored, and Joe hasn't come on yet. It's not his fault, it's just so dragged out tonight like the American Idol finales (which I avoid like the plague). Well, one thing has been proved - this song IS far better suited for Joe. God I'm so bored I'm repeating myself. At least Joe has changed out of his suit into... another suit. I thought I had made my peace with this being the winner's song. I haven't. It's just not very exciting at all no matter who sings it. Joe has the same look on his face as Gareth Gates did during the first Pop Idol final - the one that says "i've won haven't I?"! Joe is like Chandler in Friends - completely incapable of crying!! Even i was a bit teary when his dad did VT, though i had just hurt me toe...

GEORGE MICHAEL:
Ah, George is back but without Joe gazing awkwardly/lovingly at him tonight. It's the Christmas song I reviewed earlier this month (the same time I reviewed Simon Curtis' Diablo which would make an exciting cutting edge winning single that really would get people talking!) and also last year. Because it was good enough to be free to people last Christmas, but you have to pay for it this year. I do quite like the song. And it's a proper Christmas song. However, Darren is so bored, he's nipped to the loo and not asked me to live pause. And he asks me to live pause the M&S christmas adverts!
PAUL MCCARTNEY:
Oh. Hardly edge of my seat stuff. This is a real wasted opportunity. George should have sung Last Christmas and Paul could have done Wonderful Christmastime. It would've festived things up nicely. Instead it's some song about a car and Live and Let Die, which just shows that sadly Paul's voice isn't what it used to be :/ Plus nothing tops the Geri Halliwell version.

This is it then. Joe or Olly. I'm mustering up enthusiasm, but I am not as invested as when I wanted JLS or Same Difference to win in previous years. (20 second pause). Oh well. That's that then. I look forward to Joe's musical theatre album in October :) I did want to say thanks to everyone who has stuck with me through this x factor blogging marathon - it's been lots of fun and your comments have been hugely appreciated. PLUS! The blogging stats have gone right up and stayed up so I guess people are sticking around in between the posts too for which I am very grateful. So that's all over. I feel a bit bereft :/ Come back for all the christmas advent calendar posts and my end of year stuff because it's another break in the new year :)