Lopez Blogs

Oh my good garden gnomes. I am still in a weird funk. Darren tried to slap it out of me, but I enjoyed that too much and while it did lead to a brief funk respite, it returned with a vengeance, um, after... Such moodiness has led to a severe case of foot-in-mouth disease, which is worse than swine flu and certainly on a par of stupidity of flying jet planes near buildings in NYC. Par example, I walked straight past an old colleague yesterday and didn’t even recognise her. To be fair to me, she usually has the personal style of Ellen DeGeneres (trousers, pumps and a boyish quiff) and was now wearing a floral print dress and had permed her hair. It was quite the abrasive shock – like seeing Ellen in a frock and ringlets! My shock and moody funk led to the following words coming out of my mouth (like word vomit as Kady would say in the epic Mean Girls) “Oh my god, I didn’t recognise you, you look so different. Like a young Susan Boyle!” Sweet Shane McGowen – why she didn’t punch me immediately in the nose is utterly beyond me :(

Then my mood at work hasn’t been fantastic today either – lots of my previously mentioned fired colleagues leave today and I was stuck writing our company response to the swine flu pandemic. It’s made me a bit paranoid. I have already personalised my FFP2 face mask and am walking around with a huge bottle of hand sanitiser in my pocket! So no I am not pleased to see you. I might have gone a bit too far when I started pressing the lift/elevator button with my fountain pen. Really we should all be furious with the farmer who sodomised that poor porker and started this whole thing off...

So i need an international rescue to lift my mood – and soon! I turn 35 on Sunday and can’t be in a weird depressive funk for that! So recommend happy songs, happy films, happy tv show episodes (sniffle, last Pushing Daisies this Friday!) and get me back to my normal only slightly manic depressive self...

(This has gone some way to cheering me up!)