Lopez Blogs

I'll make my confession on a dancefloor. When Warner Bros announced that Lady Madonna (children at her feet. Literally) was releasing a(nother) greatest hits, I wasn't holding out much hope for a comprehensive and chronological 5 cd set of all her singles since the early 80s. There was also going to be controversy over the final listing (despite the label difficulties, surely Gambler is deserving of a place!?) - what goes on, what's missed off, etc. I remember being grossly disappointed over the omissions on The Immaculate Collection, though us lucky Brits got the extra tracks in the form of the rereleased cd singles of Holiday and Crazy For You. So when the rumoured Iconography became Celebration I thought, well pooey to this and continued with my own 5 cd box set. Basically it would be a money losing nightmare, because I envisage it coming in a solid oak box with the five cds inside, an accompanying dvd of all her videos (and memorable performances - any suggestions?) as well as free gifts to celebrate each disc's era. These would be as follows:

• Disc one (click here for listing): A lacey white glove circa Like A Virgin
• Disc two (click here for listing): Some patchahoochie oil perfume circa Like A Prayer
• Disc three (click here for listing): A leather blindfold circa Erotica
• Disc four (click here for listing): A personal note of apology from Madonna to all those who sat through Next Best Thing
• Disc five (click here for listing and add new tracks!): An orphaned baby from an underdeveloped country circa Hard Candy era

Now that would be amazing. That would be ground breaking. That would be worth ponying up £50 for. And it would be a poke(r face) in the eye to the increasingly desperate to outdo herself Lady Cuckoo as a lesson in evolving properly over time, not all in 9 months. Note: you are not a foetus madam.

But harky! Then look what happened. Celebration sort of leaked, like old lady Madonna's super strength pantyliner. And it's quite good in a stolen-the-rave-bit-from-girls-aloud's-untouchable-then-impregnated-it-with-the-spirit-of-Holiday-and-ejaculated-it-all-into-the-hitmaking-Confessions-blender type of way. Although the video above really isn't the best method for judging is it, but will do for now. And taken literally, the tracklisting as a "celebration" of Madonna's music over the past 27 years is actually quite phenomenal and wonderful. Yes there are missing tracks, but I have learned to come to terms with the fact that this was probably inevitable. I love the warhol-esque cover. I'm smitten already by Celebration (you can rest assured that if it leaks before Sunday it is likely to keep Mika from being number one on my countdown!) and I'm ready for a video where her lady garden doesn't hang down like 2 chicken fillets on offer at Bejams. Now I'm off to listen to Til Death Do Us Part and remember a simpler time when the most controversial thing in the world was a black Jesus...

Read XO's latest Madonna post here...
Read Adem's latest Madonna post here...