Lopez Blogs

Pop-opera boybands and soloists are a bit like drowning - once you stop struggling against it, it's really quite enjoyable. You can always tell when it's Christmas (or Mother's Day) because a plethora of them perforate the marketplace with their harmonised-to-within-an-inch-of their-life harmonies and bombastic production values. This Christmas alone sees Jonathan Ansell (formerly of my beloved possibly comedy-only-they-didn't-know-it G4), Il Divo, Blake and Only Men Aloud release albums of various pop standards and interpretations/annilihations of more recent groovesters. That will possibly set you back about £40/$55 (the £ to $ exchange rate is now shocking for us Brits. My salary in dollars is no longer as impressive!!) which is a positively ghastly amount to spend on popera. Here is my credit crunch saving tip to creating a nice home made compilation popera album for your mom/grandma/significant care giver (because they always say they love home made gifts!):

• Be aware that at a pinch only three of the singers in the several groups named above are even remotely attractive. However middle aged ladies cream their tenaladies over them all the time, so best just to go with a nice photo of yourself as a cover...
• Do not under any circumstances be tempted to put Rhydian Roberts on the compilation. He is quite annoying, is probably still a boastful virgin ("zavvi"?) and robbed Same Difference of second place. The cad.
• Be sure to put on songs like Jonathan Ansell's Who Wants To Live Forever (suprisingly understated but a little bit dull), Il Divo's (they call me mr) boombastic (semi fantastic) production of Frankie Goes To Hollywood's The Power of Love and Only Men Aloud's All By Myself. These are songs from the era of the middle aged lady and therefore she will be able to spend hours harmonising to them in the shower.
• Try not to visualise the person you give this to harmonising in the shower because it's quite repulsive. Unless you plan on giving it to Ben Barnes.
• Also add semi-gay classic songs like Only Men Aloud's pinktastic Don't Rain On My Parade and Il Divo's cash-inriffic The Winner Takes It All. Middle aged lady/mom/primary care giver has probably watched loads of gaycentric movies with her very special son who just can't find the right girl.
• Add a few "contemporary" tunes like Blake's surprisingly lovely Chasing Cars and as dull as the original Closest Thing To Crazy. To be fair both sound quite nice on a cold winter morning. And then step back in time and add RyanDan's Wind Beneath My Wings. It's been on that Bette Midler advertisment for ages now so why not pretend it's modern.
• Finally be sure to add a whole bunch of festive classics - RyanDan do a nice version of Holy Night, Il Divo nail When A Child Is Born, Only Men Aloud tackle Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas, Jonathan does a less brillo but still good version of O Holy Night while Blake have a pop mix of White Christmas floating around.